Ranma-Surreal Genius
by Brendan
Summary: Nodoka's second pregnancy causes the long training trip to become a series of short ones. And Ranma finds himself finding new application for the brilliance he origionally could only use at martial arts.
1. Chapter 1

Legal: The characters of Ranma ½ were created by the great Rumiko Takahashi.  
I am using them without permission, hopefully for the purpose of entertaining someone. If anyone who has a right to sue me has that desire, I have almost no money.  
C&C is appreciated, you can contact me at brenda02@sprynet.com. And if you want to see the earlier parts of this and my other stories, you can find them at http://home.sprynet.com/~brenda02/Keith/Animeff.htm  
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Genma Saotome stood in the front hall of his and Nodoka's house. As much as he missed the open road, he knew how much he'd miss his wife. *But my mind's made up and I can't let anything stop Me.* He adjusted the straps of his pack.  
Nodoka walked up to the five-year old boy standing beside him and knelt down to hug him. "I'll miss you Ranma." Her eyes glistened with tears.  
"I'll miss you Mom," Ranma replied as he hugged her back as best he could.  
Nodoka stood up and walked up to her husband. "I'll miss you both. Please hurry back."  
"I'll miss you more than I can put words to, and I'll dream of my return every night. But I owe it to the boy to properly train him in the arts. And I can't do that here."  
"Well, try to visit in a few months," She said with a smile appearing on her face. "The doctor called today," She said as she took his hand and placed it on her still flat stomach, "and you're going to be a father again dearest."  
Genma froze. He stayed frozen for several minutes. Ranma was looking up at him with a puzzled expression. "Well, the Anything Goes style is very flexible. Indeed I think that periodic short training trips could do just as well as an extended one. Possibly better now that I think of it. . . "  
And so the universe changed.  
  
  
A Ranma ½ Fanfict  
Surreal Genius  
By Brendan O'Donnell  
Part one  
  
In the Tendo home Soun Tendo looked at the postcard in his hands through his tearful eyes. The card had a very short message on it, "Coming to visit, with Ranma." It was signed Genma Saotome.  
"Oh, how I've waited for this day!" Soun said as he put down the card "KASUMI! NABIKI! AKANE!"  
  
On a street alongside a canal, a large panda and a girl were fighting. The panda was a typical looking panda, white fur and black fur on a bear like body; it's fighting stance and the speed of it's movements were what deviated from the typical image of a panda. The girl was wearing Chinese style clothes and a large backpack, and her red hair was bound back in a braided pigtail. As she fought she was yelling "I can't believe you only mentioned something like this while we're on the way there!"  
The panda growled back at her jumping toward her. She leaped over the panda with a full somersault, she came out of the move precisely timed so her feet lashed down on it's back. The panda was thrown forward to fall in a heap a few feet down the street. The redhead assumed a ready combat stance and waited. The panda came to its feet and assumed a similar stance.  
"Oneechan!" A girl ran up to the pair carrying three umbrellas. One umbrella was open to protect her from the rain, and the other two tucked under her arm. She looked a great deal like the young redhead, except she was about ten and her red hair was loose and shoulder length. The redhead stopped, shifted out of her combative stance and looked at the little girl with a slightly annoyed expression. As the girl reached the pair the panda had also relaxed into a non-hostile stance.  
The elder redhead suddenly sighed and shook her head. Taking the two closed umbrellas from the young girl she said "Sorry Noriko," as she opened one while handing the other to the panda.   
From behind the younger girl a somewhat older looking Nodoka Saotome approaches. "Now you two run ahead and make the introductions to the Tendo's, Noriko and I will follow as soon as we finish shopping."  
  
Soun Tendo was sitting at a low table opposite his three daughters. From right to left he looked over them and thought about how much he wished their mother was alive. *You would be so proud . . .* On his left side of the table sat his oldest daughter Kasumi. She was dressed in a simple dress with a frilly apron over the front. Her long light brown hair was tied in a loose ponytail by a white ribbon, and rested on her left shoulder. Her calm peaceful look reminded him of her mother, but since she always looked like that he could look at all the similarities without breaking down into tears. Most of the time. In the center of the table was Nabiki, Kasumi's younger sister. She was dressed in a fancy kimono, her short hair framing her face with its cheerful, slightly eager look on her face as he explained about his friend. And finally next to Nabiki sat Akane his youngest daughter. She was dressed in her gi, long black hair falling straight down her back tied with a red ribbon. Her annoyed glower worried him slightly, but he felt sure that she'd cheer up when the Saotome's arrived.  
"A fiancee?" Kasumi asked in response to his explanations regarding his friend's arrival.  
"Yes, his name is Ranma Saotome, and he is the son of my good friend Genma. If one of you marries him and carries on the Dojo, it's future will be certain."  
"Wait a minute!" Akane angrily responded, "Don't we have some say in this!"  
"Hey, let's meet him first, he could be really handsome." Akane pointedly ignored Nabiki's quiet comment to her. Noticing this Nabiki shifted her focus to her father and added "Right Daddy?"  
Soun laughed and stood walking to the sliding doors from the room to the backyard. While he looked out into the garden, he continued his explanations about his friend's son. "Ranma has been training for many years. He recently returned from a two year trip to China."  
"Oh, sounds impressive!" Nabiki commented.  
"Humph, training in China doesn't automatically mean he's any good," Akane commented in her still annoyed tone.  
"So how old is he?" Kasumi asked.  
"Is he good looking?!" Nabiki added.  
"Younger men are so . . . young," Kasumi continued  
"What's he like anyway?" Nabiki finished.  
Soun laughed cheerfully for a moment, then looked over his shoulders at his three daughters to reply.  
"I don't know."  
"You don't know." Nabiki echoed with traces of Akane's annoyance creeping into her voice.  
"This'll be the first time we've met."  
The three girls looked at their father's back with expressions mixing mild shock with varying degrees of annoyance. Then there was a knock at the front door.  
Soun ran to the door shouting "Ah, you're here Saotome-San!" Nabiki was right on his heels.  
Kasumi and Akane followed at a slower pace. "I hope he's older," Kasumi said quietly. Then they stopped as their father and sister ran back around the corner with a expression of confusion and slight fear on their face.  
Following them was a grim looking panda walking slightly behind a redhead in red shirt and black pants who looked back at the panda and said, "I'll do the talking for now."  
Soun looked forward and asked, "You wouldn't be . . ."  
"I'm Ranma Saotome, sorry."  
"AH! I'm so glad to finally meet you!" he shouted as he grabbed Ranma into a tight embrace.  
"He is pretty handsome!" Nabiki added from behind her father.  
Who suddenly blinked as his expression shifted from joy to shock. He experimentally tightened and loosened his embrace then grabbed Ranma's arms so he could observe the red head at arms length. What he saw caused him to back up in shock.  
Nabiki walked around him and quickly identified the source of her father's sudden reaction, Ranma's rather ample breasts. She prodded one with her finger, then confirmed her suspicions with a squeeze which provoked Ranma to comment quietly "They're real, you can stop that."  
Nabiki looked at her father and said in a sarcastic tone of voice. "He is a girl!"  
Soun considered this a moment then decided the best response was to faint. Which he did.  
Soun opened his eyes. He was lying on his back in the family room with his daughter Kasumi putting a wet cloth on his forehead. She was saying "Poor father, he must be so disappointed."  
"He's disappointed! He's not the only one! Look at her! Some fiancee!" Nabiki shouted as she looked at a slightly tired looking Ranma.  
"Stop it Nabiki. Whatever the circumstances she's our guest!" Akane replied in a much less annoyed tone.  
"Ah, Father's coming around!" Kasumi said.  
"This is your fault Daddy! Don't you know the difference between a boy and a girl!" Nabiki said to him.  
"My friend had told me he had been blessed with a son."  
"Where do you see any sons in this room?!"  
"That's enough Nabiki, boy or girl, a guest is a guest!"  
"Besides there's some . . . complicated things we'll have to discuss, and I'd rather wait for mom before we start," Ranma added. She then looked at Kasumi and added. "Mom wanted us to come here while she went shopping, she wanted to help with dinner. She should be here soon with my little sister."  
"Oh that wasn't necessary, you shouldn't have to exert yourselves like that."  
"Mom felt she did. You can discuss it with her, but she's pretty hard to dissuade once she makes a decision."  
"Let me show you around," Akane said as she walked to Ranma and offered her a hand up. "Want to be friends?" she added with a smile. Ranma returned the smile.  
"This is our Dojo," Akane said as she entered the building in question. Ranma followed looking around in interest. "You study Kempo, right?"  
"Somewhat," Ranma replied with a indifferent shrug.  
"Well, how about a little match, then," Akane said with a grin.  
"A match?"  
"Just for fun, don't worry I 'm not going go all out," Akane said as she adopted a ready stance.  
Ranma took a very relaxed stance opposite from her and indicated her desire to begin the match with a smile and a nod.  
"Ok, start!" Akane said, then shifted her stance and lashed out with a strong punch. Which Ranma avoided by leaning slightly to one side. She followed it up with a roundhouse kick, which Ranma casually leaned back to avoid. A few more blows that were just as easily avoided and Akane was feeling her frustration begin to mount. "What's wrong, fight back!" she cried at him. She was thinking to herself, *How is she dodging so easily, are my moves really that easy for her to read?*  
"Ok, try the real thing!" she shouted as she lashed out with a full strength punch. Ranma leaped over the attack, which smashed through two of the boards in the dojo wall. Before she could turn Ranma tapped her in the back of her head. In a real fight the tap would have been a fist knocking her into unconsciousness. She turned realizing how easily she had lost.  
Ranma got a slightly sheepish look on her face, and started to laugh a quiet friendly laugh. Akane's laugh joined hers a moment later.  
"You're pretty good!" Akane said as she adjusted her gi and started to leave the Dojo. "I'm just glad you're a girl."  
"What . . ."  
"Well, I'd hate to loose to a boy like that."  
Ranma stood in the dojo, her cheer replaced by a look of calculation tinged with worry.  
  
In the bath-room the panda Ranma had entered the house with lowered itself into the hot water of the furo.  
"This'll be your room, and your parents can sleep in the other guest room," Kasumi told Ranma as they walked into a room.  
"My sister Noriko's also coming," Ranma said.  
"Well, she can stay with you. Oh, by the way I drew you a bath."  
"Um, that might not be the best idea."  
Kasumi handed her some of the bathing supplies, and said "Here, you've been exercising right?"  
" . . .ok."  
  
Soun Tendo sat opposite a man in a plain gi, a bandanna tied over his hairless head, and glasses on his face. Tears streaked both men's faces. Soun looked out into the night and said "Ah, the path of a true martial artist is a perilous one."  
Nabiki leaned past the doorway into the kitchen and asked, "Hey Kasumi, who's that guy who's talking with dad?"  
"I don't know. You tell Akane that the bath's ready."  
"OK."  
  
Ranma was rinsed the soap off her body with some cold water, then stood and went to the tub.  
Akane entered the changing room, and seeing Ranma's clothing in the hamper thought *I guess I'll have some company* as she began taking off her gi.  
In the tub a figure with black hair in the same style as Ranma's was thinking. *So should I stay like this, or change back and explain everything when mom gets here?*  
A fully undressed Akane walked up to the door, holding a towel before her.  
*Ah, who am I kidding. I'm just waiting for Mom cause I don't like talking about this, I'd better go out like this and deal with it,* the individual in the tub thought as HE stood. As he put his left leg out of the tub, he suddenly swiveled his head to the right. The sound of the door sliding open had called his attention to the fact that Akane Tendo was now standing in the doorway looking at him. Dressed not unlike he was.  
The two stood there like statues trying to decide what was appropriate to do in this situation. With a quick downward glance Akane stepped back and closed the door.  
*I guess it's time for explanations,* thought the boy in the tub as he looked down in self-contemplation.  
In the changing room Akane put on her gi top, stepped out of the room and screamed.  
  
"Why hello Mrs. Saotome!" Kasumi said to her visitor. "And you must be Noriko." she added to the girl standing beside her.  
"It's such a pleasure to meet you Kasumi," Nodoka responded with a smile. "I take it my son and husband arrived with no trouble."  
"Oh, I'm sorry, our only visitors have been a Panda and a girl who called herself Ranma Saotome."  
Nodoka sighed. "I take it they haven't told you yet. Well, I understand their reluctance but it's something you need to know." She stopped to look up in response to Akane's loud scream. "My, you really need to know indeed."  
  
Akane ran screaming into the garden to a very large stone ornament. "I'll drown that pervert!" she screamed as she picked it up.  
"Now now, that shouldn't be necessary. Akane right?" said a voice which sounded like a mixture of Ranma and Kasumi. She turned and saw a woman in a kimono looking like an older more mature version of Ranma with brown hair standing next to her sister Kasumi. Her father and another man in a gi with glasses and a bandanna tied to his head were walking out the door with Nabiki.  
"There's a pervert in the bathroom! I think it's very necessary!"  
"This is just a small misunderstanding," Nodoka said with a smile. "I'll just let my son explain things to you." She sighed. "Like he should have from the start."   
"Sorry about that mom," came a remorseful voice from the doorway to the rest of the house. Everyone turned to see the "Bathroom pervert" dressed in the outfit which had been loose on Ranma but which fit him perfectly.  
"Who are you?" asked Nabiki in a deliberately detached voice.  
"Ranma Saotome, sorry about everything," he responded.  
Akane dropped the rock.  
  
"Ok, now it's time for the whole story," Soun said as everyone sat around the table. He considered his daughters, Kasumi's cheerful expression was unchanged, Nabiki had slipped into the poker face he only saw when she was helping him with the books, and Akane was quivering with barely restrained rage. The Saotome's looked a little calmer, Ranma with his weary look, Genma's impassive expression, Nodoka looking like an older version of Kasumi, and Noriko looking at everyone else with a slightly puzzled look on her face. He turned to Genma. "This is my friend Genma Saotome," He began indicating the rest of the Saotome family as he named them, "His wife Nodoka, his son Ranma, and his daughter Noriko"  
"Are you really the same girl we saw?" Kasumi asked.  
With a sigh Ranma replied "Yes, it's the result of a little training accident."  
"Where should I begin?" Genma said aloud in a contemplative voice.  
"Try this," Nodoka replied handing him a bucket of water.  
"Thank you," Genma replied, before dumping the contents of the bucket on Ranma who immediately turned into a girl. Her expression shifted to strong annoyance.  
"Why'd you do that?!" Ranma shouted at her father.  
"Oh, what a terrible thing to happen!" Genma started ranting. "Ranma, I am so ashamed of you . . ." Ranma grabbed the front of his Gi and threw him into the carp pond. From which a large panda immediately emerged.  
"Watch the hypocrisy Panda!"  
"Ranma," said Nodoka. She turned her head to the charging Panda, "Genma," Her quiet words froze them both.  
"Sorry mom," Ranma said.  
  
The group was reassembled around the table, with the now father and son contemplating a large teakettle on the table before them.  
"I have been training Ranma in the art of Anything Goes Martial Arts for many years," Genma began. "Two years ago we agreed that Ranma needed more focus to truly master the art."  
"Actually I was doing a little research on chi, and I felt I needed to totally immerse myself in the subject to really understand it," Ranma interjected.  
Genma glared at Ranma. Nodoka looked at Genma. Genma continued. "Anyway it was agreed that we would spend two years traveling for the sole purpose of training in Martial Arts."  
"I've skipped two grades, and I thought I could afford to take the time off."  
"Ahem, We crossed over to China, and traveled for a long time, searching out and studying at the many martial arts sites. Then one day about three months ago, we arrived at an ancient training ground in the Biankolo Range of Mountains, in Quinghia province. It's name was Jusenkyo."  
  
Flashback:  
The Jusenkyo guide was walking down the road followed by a small group. Genma and Ranma were at the front, dressed in white gi's. Following them were Nodoka and Noriko, who were dressed in casual traveling clothes. Everyone but the guide wore a large backpack.  
The road ended in a valley who's floor was covered with springs. Bamboo poles stuck up from the various springs, and the ground between them. "Here is Jusenkyo, the famous training ground of cursed springs."  
"Cursed?" asked Nodoka.  
"Yes, there more than one hundred springs, and each has own tragic story."  
"Ranma, lets go!" shouted Genma as he dropped his pack and jumped onto one of the poles.  
"No trouble." responded Ranma as he leapt onto another pole.  
"AH! SIRS! What you doing?!" the guide cried out as the two adopted a defensive one-legged stance. "I have not finished my tragic story!"  
"I won't go easy on you Ranma!" cried Genma.  
"You never do," was Ranma's quiet response as the two leaped at each other, clashed, and landed on different poles.  
"AH! Please, very bad you fall in spring!"  
Ignoring the guide the pair leaped into another confrontation, this one leaving Ranma standing on a pole while Genma was knocked into a spring.  
"That was quick," commented Ranma as he looked at the spring Genma had fallen into. Then suddenly a very large panda wearing his father's Gi top jumped from the spring. "Wha- What's that!!"  
"That Shanmaonichuan, Spring of Drowned Panda. Tragic story of panda who drown there two thousand year ago. Legend say whoever fall into spring take body of panda.  
"Why didn't you tell us sooner!" Ranma screamed, then shifted his attention back to his transformed father who was leaping at him. A second later Ranma flew through the air into another spring.  
"Ranma!" screamed Nodoka as she ran to the edge of the spring.  
"Oh dear, he fall in Nyanichuan, Spring of Drowned Girl." the guide started as Ranma came to the surface. "Tragic story of young girl who drowned there one thousand five hundred year ago. Legend say whoever fall in spring take body of girl."  
Ranma felt the changes to his body, looking down she could see the changes to her chest, and with a quick yank at her gi top the guide's words were confirmed. "AAAAAGH!"  
Ranma pulled the top closed. She had the look of someone who's world has just transformed radically. I.E., she was in shock. Then she looked up at the panda on the poles. "OYAJI NO BAAKAAAAA!!!!!"  
"Wait! Ranma! Genma," shouted Nodoka, trailing off as she saw her transformed husband leaping across the training ground followed by her son turned daughter.  
End flashback.  
  
Ranma was siting there suppressing the rage he still felt when his father reminded him of what had happened. He closed his eyes, focused on his breathing and made himself relax.  
"I see," Soun replied as he considered the story. "Well, this isn't so bad after all." He took Ranma by the shoulder and pointed to each of his children in turn. "My oldest daughter Kasumi, she's 19. My middle daughter Nabiki, she's 17. My youngest daughter Akane, she's 16. Choose any one you want, she's your fiancee."  
"Akane would be wisest choice," Kasumi said.  
"Definitely," added Nabiki.  
"What! Why would I . . ."  
"Ahem!" Attention shifted to Ranma who had closed his eyes and was touching his right hand's fingers to his forehead. "Let me get this straight. You want me to make a decision that will have a dramatic impact on both my life and the lives of your daughters, based on my knowing them for less than two hours?!" He raised his head to focus a glare he usually reserved for his father onto Soun Tendo.  
"Ahhhhh . . ." Soun said as he tried to think of what to say in response.  
"Out of respect for you and father I'll make this deal. I'll make a choice in one year. Until then you will not speak of, will not push, and will not mention even the possibility of an engagement. And if everyone decides that we're not compatible the engagement is off." Ranma looked into Mr. Tendo's eyes. "Is that acceptable?" he finished in a tone that said only one answer was acceptable.  
"Um, yes . . . But you'll be living here!" Soun said. "You can't get to know them if your living across town!"  
Ranma sighed. "Ok, that I can compromise on."  
"Hey! don't we have any say in this!" Akane shouted as she stood and walked over to glare at her father.  
"Of course," Ranma said. "That's why we're discussing this."  
"Well I'm not marrying a pervert like you!"  
Ranma glared at her, tightening his fist, wanting to retaliate "You walked in on me, you Uncute Tomboy!" he yelled as he came to his feet and glared into her eyes.  
"What did you say!!?" Akane retaliated in a building Rage.  
Nodoka was looking at both of them, wanting desperately to stop this but knowing the two of them had to diffuse it themselves. *No wonder they're so angry, the first time they saw each other naked was an accident.* Her thoughts drifted back to the romantic moment when she had first seen Genma hidden in the rafters of the womens bath. She smiled at the memory. *If my son chooses Nabiki or Kasumi, I'll make sure their first time is better.*  
Ranma glared into Akane's eyes, eyes who's rage was a mirror to his own. He closed his eyes.  
*Damn! Lost it! Well only one thing to do.* "Sorry," he said through clenched teeth, "I meant to say that idiot's an acceptable insult, but pervert is blatantly inaccurate."  
"Oh, shut up you lecherous peeping tom!"  
"Akane!" said Nodoka in a gentle yet firm voice similar to one she occasionally heard from Kasumi.  
"Oh, sorry Mrs. Saotome."  
"You're apologizing to the wrong person."  
"Let me go first," Ranma said as he walked up to Akane. Bowing he said, "I'm sorry for not telling you about my curse earlier, but even after these three months it's still an uncomfortable subject for me. I'm further sorry for letting myself get so angry just now" *I still want to do something for that Pervert crack!* he thought  
Akane stood there for a few moments, felt Kasumi and Mrs. Saotome looking at her and bowed muttering. "sorryicalledyouapervert"  
"Not a great apology but it's accepted," Ranma said with a slight grin. Akane turned somewhat red and stormed out of the room.  
*Heh.*  



	2. Chapter 2

Legal: The characters of Ranma ½ were created by the great Rumiko Takahashi.  
I am using them without permission, hopefully for the purpose of entertaining someone. If anyone who has a right to sue me has that desire, I have almost no money.  
C&C is appreciated, you can contact me at brenda02@sprynet.com. And if you want to see the earlier parts of this and my other stories, you can find them at http://home.sprynet.com/~brenda02/Keith/Animeff.htm  
--------  
  
A Ranma ½ Fanfict  
Surreal Genius  
By Brendan O'Donnell  
Part two  
  
"He's in your class, you show him to school," Nabiki called back to Akane as she ran out of the house.  
"Hey Nabiki, that's not fair," Akane shouted as she ran down the hall, right into Ranma, who was wearing his red and black Chinese clothes and closing his schoolbag.  
Ranma looked at her with an apologetic look on his face and said, "I do need someone to show me the way to school."  
Akane took a deep breath and relaxed. "Ok, let me be your guide," she responded with a big smile.  
"Thanks."  
  
The pair walked to school, Akane on the sidewalk, Ranma striding on top of the fence, skimming the contents of a book as he went.  
"Remember, don't say a word about any engagements. I don't want people getting the wrong idea," Akane said to Ranma.  
Ranma looked at Akane over the top of his reading glasses and replied, "Don't worry, as I see it, the whole engagement thing is not to be considered for an entire year."  
"Ok." Akane walked a few more feet in silence. Then she slowed down slightly and said quietly "You were serious, right? About calling the engagement off if we didn't want it?"   
Ranma closed the book, put his glasses in a pocket, and looked at her. "Of course. That's the right thing to do."  
"Good." She increased her pace again. Looking at Ranma she saw him effortlessly matching her on the fence. "Why are you up there anyway?"  
"Dad always used to make me do a lot of balance exercises. It's . . . reassuring to know they're still second nature."  
"You've been training for a long time?"  
"Started before I could walk. And Pop's always trying to come up with different challenges to make sure I keep improving." He jumped off the fence and started walking next to Akane. "He sometimes shouts at me about my not devoting myself wholeheartedly to the Arts, but Mom knows how to calm him down. Besides I've always surpassed whatever standards he's tried to impose on me."  
The two continued their trip quietly.  
"Well there's the school," Akane said as they picked up the pace and started jogging down the final block. "Oh yeah, don't get in my way."  
"Are you expecting something to happen?" Ranma said as he looked at the school. There seemed to be a large crowd standing in the courtyard, and all of them were looking their way.  
"It's all that damn Kuno's fault!" Akane said as she broke into a run. The figures in the courtyard began running toward them as well. "When will you give up and leave me alone!" she screamed at the mob as she met it.  
Ranma had held off on matching her last bit of acceleration, and when the mob reached Akane he recalled her request and jumped over the crowd landing on the wall around the school. He then looked over the two to three dozen male students in athletic outfits, all fighting Akane, and he could almost immediately see how the odds stacked up. The mob didn't stand a chance. A few seconds later Akane finished confirming his assessment.  
"I wish they'd all give up one of these days," Akane said to herself as she looked at her opponents and caught her breath. She glanced at Ranma who was squatting on top of the wall looking at her with an analytical look on his face  
She looked away from Ranma and started toward the door when she sensed something being thrown at her. She caught it and saw it was a red rose. With a little groan she turned and looked at the source of the projectile.  
"Once again these churls fought for the chance to ask for your hand, what fools!" said a tall kid in a kendo outfit as he stepped from around the tree, holding a wooden practice sword in his hand. He continued "And now it is time for . . ." And his monologue stopped, as he saw Ranma Jump down to land at Akane's side.  
"And who might you be who dares to stand so close to the fair Akane Tendo?"  
"Ranma Saotome," Ranma replied as he looked Kuno over.  
"Ranma Saotome, know that you address the greatest fighter of this school. I am the rising star of the high school kendo world, my opponents tremble at the sound of my name! My peers call me the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High! I am Tatewaki Kuno, age 17. And what, Ranma Saotome, grants you the courage to approach Akane Tendo."  
"I'm the heir of the Saotome School of Anything Goes Martial arts," Ranma replied. "And I'm a guest of the Tendo's while I'm attending school."  
"What! You think yourself worthy to share a dwelling with the Beauteous Akane!" Kuno shouted as he ran toward Ranma.  
Ranma casually jumped out of the way as Kuno's downward slash with the wooden practice sword passed through the air where Ranma had stood and sliced a large gash in the wall. Ranma took off his schoolpack as he moved through the air and tossed it to Akane as he landed. "Hold this please."  
"Is there any particular reason you're attacking me?" Ranma asked as he dodged another series of strikes by Kuno.  
*He's good* thought Kuno as he contemplated Ranma's evasion of his attacks.  
"My father is an old friend of her fathers from their training days. I'll be staying at the Dojo for a while. And why are you so concerned about Akane and who she associates with?"  
"On the day I prove my worthiness by defeating her in combat she will be free to admit her love for me, and I will not allow you to put that day off by your interference!"  
Ranma glanced ad Akane who was looking at Kuno with an increasingly angry look and said, "Have you ever considered what she'd say about that prediction?"  
"Enough talk!" Kuno responded as he rushed Ranma sword swinging down. Ranma avoided the slash by jumping into the air.  
Kuno looked up to see Ranma dropping from the height he had risen to, and swung his sword up in another attack. Ranma struck at Kuno with the first two fingers of his right hand. Both aimed for their opponent's heads.  
It started to rain.  
Ranma felt the change occur, and decided that the fight needed to be ended. As his feet touched the ground, he swung up his left leg in a fast circular kick which knocked Kuno across the schoolyard. Ranma immediately ran into the school.  
"Hey didn't that new kid look a little different all of a sudden?"  
"I could have sworn he shrank, but that's impossible."  
"Yeah, must have been an illusion. Did you see the way he took out Kuno?"  
"Damn, the rain wasn't due till around ten," Ranma commented as she took her pack back from Akane. Reaching into it she pulled out a thermos with which she shifted back to his original form.  
"How would you know?" Akane asked as they walked to their classroom.  
Ranma pulled out a small radio tuned to the weather channel and said "I've had a good motivation to learn about Meteorology."  
  
"HE'S HER FIANCEE?!" Kuno screamed in the class.  
"Kuno, that's not what I said," Nabiki responded.  
"Then . . ." Kuno started but was cut short by an eraser thrown by the teacher.  
"Kuno, stand in the hall!"  
"yes sir"  
  
"And so . . . Mr. Saotome, if this is so simple what do you think the answer is!?" the teacher said as he glared at Ranma's yawning face.  
Ranma blinked in surprise a moment, then glanced at the equations on the board. Pulling out a calculator he punched a few keys and said, "935 units squared, right."  
" . . . Uh, yes, but it's the process that's important."  
Ranma silently stood and walked to the board. Pausing to put on a pair of reading glasses he wrote out a very quick and accurate solution to the extensive integral equations. "Any questions?"  
At this moment the door of the room slammed open and Kuno stormed in dressed in the mornings kendo outfit again. "Ranma Saotome, I WILL NEVER ACCEPT YOUR ENGAGEMENT TO AKANE TENDO!!"  
Immediately all the boys in class were shouting at Ranma for becoming engaged to Akane while all the girls were pestering Akane for details.  
"HOLD IT!" Ranma called out, then he stepped backward to avoid a downward slash from Kuno's wooden practice sword. *Damn, I can't let this disrupt class! Hmm . . .* He dropped the piece of chalk he was holding onto his foot. With a sigh he closed his eyes, raised his left hand and rubbed his forehead as though trying to ease a headache.  
*That's a Deception Stance,* Akane thought to herself. *If Ranma's fast enough to pull it off . . .*  
With a cry of "I have you now!" Kuno stepped forward raising his boken in preparation for a fierce downward strike. With a quick motion of his foot Ranma tossed the chalk under Kuno's descending foot. Kuno was good enough not to stumble, but the distraction of keeping his balance kept him from noticing Ranma grabbing his boken with both hands while swinging up his right leg to kick him in the face. Kuno stumbled backward disarmed.  
"Heh, no real challenge," said Ranma. *Damn, I shouldn't antagonize him!* he thought to himself. *Always try to avoid creating enemies unnecessarily.*  
"You dare mock the Tatewaki Kuno! The vengeance of heaven is slow but sure, and I am the most favored warrior beneath the heavens!"  
*Of course this moron's likely to see me as a rival no matter what I do. Well, maybe I can slow it down.* "Hold it! I was just trying to keep class from being too badly disrupted. Now as to your reason for barging in here, Akane and I are not engaged. I'm merely a guest of the family at this time."  
"But Nabiki Tendo said . . ."  
"When I arrived my father and hers wanted to engage us, but I talked them out of it. I'll stay there for one year, and then if there's any engagement to be made we'll be the ones to make it."  
Kuno stood still trying to figure out what was going on. This ended when the teacher whacked him on the head with a ruler while stating "You have detention for the rest of the week! Now go stand in the hall!!"  
"Yes sir."  
  
After an otherwise quiet day Akane, Ranma and Nabiki started home, Ranma wringing water from her pigtail as she walked toward the gate. "Damn, why don't they look where their throwing that water," she sighed and added "If only I hadn't used up all my hot water this morning. I'll have to work on something to deal with that. Oh great." The final statement was a reference to Kuno's decision to stand in front of the gateway.  
"Where is Ranma Saotome?" he called out.  
Akane looked at Ranma and said, "He got called away."  
"Ha, the cowardly cretin fled in fear of my invincible skill! Truly he is no real man!"  
Ranma responded to this statement with a quick kick to Kuno's stomach. "If you want to fight me, tell me!" she added angrily.  
Kuno shook his head and stepped back up to the trio. "How amusing," Kuno replied as he readied his boken. "Very well, I shall accept your challenge, and if you win I shall allow you to date with me!" he said as he stepped forward slashing at Ranma.  
"I don't want to date with you!" Ranma replied as she jumped over the blow and landed on Kuno's sword with her left leg. As Kuno stared at her leg, she leaned forward and kicked him in the face with a hard blow by her right leg.  
Kuno collapsed and just lay there as the trio walked past (and in Ranma and Akane's case, on) him. *She is formidable! And such beauty!* he thought just before passing out.  
  
"Well, I hear you two had a full day," Nabiki said to Akane and Ranma as they walked together from school.  
"Well, it was nice to see that even after a two year break the subjects are still so easy," Ranma said with a grin. "But I expect you're talking about Kuno's reaction when you told him that Akane and I are engaged?" he added with a serious look which was echoed by Akane.  
Nabiki took a step back from the two glares and responded "Hey, I was just explaining why you were staying with us, and he ran off right after I mentioned that Daddy was thinking of engaging you and Akane."  
"Actually that was you," Akane replied in an annoyed tone.  
"Well I managed to explain the full story to Kuno later, and I think he's got it. Of course you can never tell with Kuno. And now he's yelling about you lacking honor, so I'd expect more challenges from him."  
Ranma sighed. "Well Deception Stance's a bit of a cheap shot but he shouldn't have interrupted class like that."  
Nabiki looked at him questioningly, "Deception Stance?"  
Akane looked at her sister and responded, "You know, that's where you train so that you can adopt a defenseless looking position and when your opponent tries to take advantage of it you can attack them first."  
Nabiki shrugged, "You're the martial artist, I'm just the financial artist."  
Ranma glanced at her watch. "Excuse me, I've gotta drop by Noriko's school."  
"Expecting trouble?" Nabiki asked.  
"Noriko's a good kid!" Ranma said in an annoyed voice. "Although she does have a bit of a temper and a tendency to overreact. Anyway Mom wanted me to walk her home her first day."  
"Well, do you need someone to show you the way?"  
"Actually dad and I passed in on our way over yesterday."  
"So what do you think?" Nabiki said as she and Akane continued on alone.  
"What do you mean, Nabiki?" Akane responded.  
"About Ranma! Are you sorry he messed up that engagement thing yesterday?"  
"No way!" Akane responded angrily. Then she smiled and added, "He is a lot nicer than I was expecting, but I don't intend to marry anyone I don't want to."  
Nabiki shrugged her shoulders and responded. "OK, no engagement talk. But I hope you don't mind if I take that as an invitation to see what he's like myself?"  
"I thought you didn't want him?"  
"I didn't want to be engaged to him. I don't mind getting to know him. I'd especially like to know if there's anything profitable in his future," Nabiki responded with a smirk and a wink.  
"I might have guessed," responded Akane as she rolled her eyes.  
  
*This is the place,* Ranma thought as she approached the elementary school. Hearing a loud kiah she thought *And that confirms it.* She ran along the street to the source of the little battle cry, a tight circle of school kids. Her six-year height advantage allowed her to see into the center of this circle, where Noriko was circling with a boy who was about a foot and a quarter higher than her. Noriko was smiling, the sun glistening off the faint sheen of perspiration from a workout. The boy had a very uncertain look on his face and seemed to be sweating enough to fill a bathtub. Ranma decided the older kid could use a way out.  
"Hey sis!" she called out as she casually leaped over the crowd to land next to Noriko. Her opponent flinched away from Ranma's sudden appearance, Noriko turned her head at her and told her to butt out of the fight.  
Her opponent took this opportunity to back up to the crowd, and pausing he said "You're lucky she showed up!"  
Ranma didn't want to let some honor feud develop between Noriko and this kid, but she also knew how Norkio felt when she interrupted her fights. "Hey, when she tells me to back off, I back off," she said as she stepped back from Noriko.  
The older kid regarded Noriko with a slightly alarmed expression which he quickly suppressed. "We'll finish this another time!" he shouted as he turned and made his way through the crowd and down the street as fast as he could without actually seeming to run. With his departure the crowd began to disperse and wander home  
Noriko looked after him with a furious expression, which she quickly turned on her elder brother. "What's the idea of interfering Oneechan?!"  
Ranma sighed and shook her head. "Noriko, you should always leave your opponent a way to retreat honorably unless you want to begin a blood feud. That kid knows you're better than he can handle, but you haven't beaten him up so he doesn't have to retaliate to save face. I don't think either of us want to deal with Mom learning that your grades are suffering because your too busy fighting your classmates."  
Noriko still looked annoyed, but she deflated her anger and said "Ok, Oniichan." She then glared at her and added. "But if you interfere with a fight of mine again . . ."  
"Don't worry I'm not that sort of brother," Ranma responded as the two of them set off for the Tendo home.  
  
"Hello Mrs. Saotome," Nabiki and Akane said as they entered their home and saw her sipping tea with Kasumi.  
"Ah hello, Nabiki, Akane," Nodoka responded to the pair with a smile. "But no need for the formality, just call me aunt." She looked past them and asked "Where's Ranma?"  
"He went to walk Noriko home," Akane replied.  
"Ah, I hope she hasn't gotten into any fights," Nodoka replied with a worried look on her face. "Maybe I should have been more firmly against her training with Genma."  
"You didn't want her training?" said Nabiki in a curious voice.  
"Noriko became interested in training when she was five. I thought the art wasn't appropriate for a young lady, but she refused to let go of the idea. I did teach her Kendo, and she showed definite talent, but she secretly asked Ranma for training and spied on his training with Genma." Nodoka smiled and shook her head. "After she tried to follow Ranma and Genma on one of their training trips I let her study with Genma, but the big trip to China was the first real training trip she's been on."  
Akane looked down and said "I haven't been on any kind of training trips myself." In her mind she was replaying her match with Ranma, and considering all the small ways Ranma kept demonstrating how much better he was at Martial arts than she was.  
"We're back!" cried Noriko from the front door.  
"Welcome back!" called Nodoka as she rose and walked to meet her two children. Leaning over she asked Noriko "So, how was your first day of school?!" she said, then she frowned and looked closer at Noriko. "Noriko! you got into a fight again, didn't you?!"  
"He started it! I was just minding my own business when this big bully started picking on this kid sitting next to me at lunch. What was I supposed to do, stand by and let him?"  
"You're supposed to have a little more concern for your own welfare, young lady," Nodoka said, standing up straight and glaring down at Noriko.  
"Well, from what I saw she totally outclassed him," Ranma commented.  
Nodoka turned her gaze on him. "So you just stood by while your sister was assaulted by a pack of ruffians?"  
"Ruffian, they were fighting one on one. And the first thing I did was disrupt the fight."  
Noriko added "Don't worry mom, I've just shown everyone in class that I'm not one to be messed with, it should help discourage trouble."  
"Unless the class has someone like Kuno," Akane muttered.  
Nodoka turned and looked at Akane.  
Akane's sister Kasumi had acquired quite a few skills after taking over keeping the house when their mother died. One of the less used skills was a way of looking at someone that left them almost paralyzed in fear. Akane and Nabiki had long since developed a strong desire to avoid provoking this glance. Now Nodoka looked at her, and Akane suddenly realized how much her sister could improve. "What was that Akane?" Nodoka asked.  
"Uh, I . . . I was just mentioning a guy in Nabiki's class, she can tell you about him," Akane responded, provoking a quickly suppressed glare from Nabiki.  
Nabiki looked at Nodoka, and started explaining "Well, his name's Tatewaki Kuno, and I guess he's got a bit of a martial arts fetish. He keeps pestering Akane for dates, challenging her to fights, and is absolutely convinced that she is interested in him despite being constantly told that's not the case." She shook her head "Plus there's the fact that last year he made this public announcement that no one could ask Akane out unless he could beat her in combat, so now she has to deal with a mob at school every morning."  
Nodoka looked at Ranma and asked him "Were you sitting this fight out as well?"  
"I was watching in case she needed help, she didn't. Of course when I tried to talk to her afterward Kuno took it as a personal insult and attacked me." Ranma thought a moment then added, "I'd say that in skill terms he's a little better than Akane, but definitely not up to my standards."  
Akane glared at Ranma and retaliated "Excuse me?! I'll have you know that I fight Kuno every morning, and I have never lost!"  
"He lets you win." Ranma stated bluntly.  
For a second all Akane could see was the color red. Then she found herself looking into the backyard, at Ranma who she vaguely recalled throwing into the pool.  
"Why'd you do that!" Ranma called as she jumped from the pool.  
"All right, let's see if you're as good as you claim!" Akane shouted as she walked into the yard and dropped into a preparatory stance.  
Ranma sighed and crossed her hands behind her back.  
*Won't take me seriously, eh?* Akane thought as she started toward Ranma. Then a voice held her back.  
"Akane, Ranma. This isn't the time," Nodoka said as she walked to the doorway. The pair looked at her.  
"Uh, sorry Aunt Nodoka," Akane said, her face turning slightly red.  
Ranma sighed and looked at Akane. *Yeah, she lost her mother a while ago,* he thought sadly to himself. Pushing the thought aside he said "Akane, we can talk in the dojo, OK?"  
"Ranma," said his mother in a calm tone with a undertone of warning "We are guests in her house."  
"Mom, I know the role of a guest." Ranma said looking at her. Then he turned to look at Akane and added "And I know that Akane's quite skilled at Anything Goes with a lot of untapped potential." He grinned and with a raised eyebrow at Akane while saying "So feel in the mood for a little practice?" Turning to his sister he said, "Noriko could use a little at least."  
"Huh! I'm going to knock you flat today Sis!" said Noriko as she walked into the dojo.  
"I keep telling you not to call me that!" responded Ranma as he walked in after her. He paused at the threshold and looked back. "Coming Akane?"  
Akane looked at the siblings, then with a scowl she followed them into the dojo with the words "This time I won't hold back any Pervert! Wait, excuse me, Idiot!!"  



	3. Chapter 3

Legal: The characters of Ranma ½ were created by the great Rumiko Takahashi.  
I am using them without permission, hopefully for the purpose of entertaining someone. If anyone who has a right to sue me has that desire, I have almost no money.  
C&C is appreciated, you can contact me at brenda02@sprynet.com. And if you want to see the earlier parts of this and my other stories, you can find them at http://home.sprynet.com/~brenda02/Keith/Animeff.htm  
--------  
  
A Ranma ½ Fanfict  
Surreal Genius  
By Brendan O'Donnell  
Part three  
  
Ranma and Akane walked to school together the next day. About a block from the school Ranma asked "Do you want some help today?"  
"I can handle them myself!" she said angrily.  
"I know that. It's no crime to ask for help, though."  
Akane paused and looked at Ranma. With a slight smile she replied "Thanks for worrying, but if I can't handle them I'll know it's time to worry." She began her final acceleration toward the school.  
Ranma kept himself exactly five feet behind her until she took out the last of her admirer's.  
"I told you I don't need any help!" she said to Ranma with a scowl.  
"I know that, which is why I didn't do anything."  
"What were you doing then!"  
"Watching the fight," he responded calmly. "Just watching and dodging."  
"Humph!" She paused and looked around. "Hmm, Kuno usually shows up around now. Maybe he's finally given up on me," she said with a hopeful voice. Then she added "Probably not."  
  
On the roof Tatewaki Kuno stood, looking at the crowd of students entering the building and asking himself "Whither the pigtailed girl?"  
  
"So, I hear you're interested in that girl who kicked your butt yesterday," Nabiki said as she sat on Kuno's desk looking at him over his lunch.  
"Nabiki Tendo, you should have a care not to trifle with me."  
Nabiki had known Kuno for many years, and thus she knew when he was saying something worth listening to. These were rare occasions, and this was not one of them. "Red hair tied in a pigtail, about Akane's height, same clothes as Ranma. Sound familiar?"  
Kuno handed her a small envelope and said, "I only need you to deliver this for me. If she thinks she can beat me and have it end she thinks wrongly indeed." With this he began laughing, not noticing the stares coming from everyone else in the room.  
Ranma skimmed through Kuno's letter. It took pieces from great poetry and mixed them into a second rate piece. Filtering out this there was a message asking "The pigtailed girl" to meet Kuno outside the school that evening.  
"Sounds like a formal challenge," Akane said, a worried expression on her face.  
"Kuno's a real sore looser," Nabiki added.  
"Well, a few months ago Kuno'd be a cause for worry but I'd say I've got a considerable edge now myself," Ranma responded. Then he sighed and added "Unfortunately I've got to meet someone so I can't be there," He said, slipping a black tie through the collar of the button down shirt he was wearing.  
"Got a date?" asked Nabiki with a grin.  
"Nothing of the kind," Ranma responded. "I just have to meet with a guy I know at the Museum." He paused and thought a moment. "That might not be a bad idea though." He pulled out a piece of paper and a ball-point pen and started writing.  
"What? . . ." asked Akane, but Ranma raised a hand and she listened as Ranma dictated the letter he was writing.  
"'Dear Kuno;  
I am willing and ready to accept your challenge, however I cannot make your chosen time as have a date planned and cannot justify breaking it to fight a pompous idiot like you. I will meet you after school tomorrow instead. And I ask that after I beat you, you end your harassment of my friend Akane.'"  
  
"Kuno'll REALLY be out for blood when he reads that," said Nabiki.  
"Nothing I can't handle," responded Ranma as he folded and sealed the letter. "Uh, could you deliver this for me? I really do have that meeting to attend."  
Nabiki smirked slightly "The look on Kuno's face when he sees this should be priceless. For that plus five hundred yen you've got yourself a messenger."  
  
"Hi Nabiki!" said Noriko as the middle Tendo sister walked into the room.  
When Ranma's true nature had been revealed Kasumi had requested that one of her sisters share their room with Noriko, and Akane had used it as a means to avenge Nabiki's decision to push for her engagement to Ranma.  
*Not all that effective revenge,* Nabiki thought to herself as she smiled at her young roommate. She might share Akane's love for martial arts, and she might have Ranma's strong sense of honor, but she had a devious streak that Nabiki could really relate to. "Hi Noriko! How was school today?"  
Noriko giggled slightly. "Pretty good. No one tried to challenge me, but I learned that the girl who sat next to me had a crush on a guy in the next class up." Noriko cheerfully describe in precise detail the scheme she had planed and implemented which ended with the pair locked in a closet together for a solid hour. "Of course she was too shy to take advantage of the opportunity, but she ought to do better next time."  
Nabiki laughed at Noriko's matchmaking attempt. *Ah to be young again. I can't believe I just thought that!* "By the way your brother mentioned that you're a bit of a photographer."  
"Well, I loved playing around with the Polaroid when I was young; so mom got me a more sophisticated camera, and Oniichan helped me build and use a darkroom."  
"Wow! You must be pretty good!"  
Blushing slightly Noriko responded "Well, adequate."  
"Hmm, say have you taken any pictures of your brother since he got that curse? I'll bet it's a really strange subject."  
"Your not kidding," Noriko replied. She pulled a photographic album from one of her bags. "I've started a whole portfolio on it."  
  
"Ranma, time for school!" Akane opened the door to Ranma's room and looked in to see nothing to tell it had a guest except for the peripheral equipment for Ranma's laptop on the desk.  
"He already left," Nabiki said as she walked past her sister.  
"Oh," Akane replied and the two sisters started toward the high school.  
  
"Stupid jerks," Ranma muttered to himself as he looked over the prone forms groaning in pain before him.  
"RANMA!" came a loud voice from the gate. Looking up he saw Akane running toward him with a angry expression on her face.  
*Ah yes, the pride of a martial artist. Still seeing all these guy's thinking that they could win love with their fists really turns my stomach,* Ranma thought as he turned to face Akane.  
"I told you I don't need your help!" Akane shouted.  
"So you enjoy beating these guy's up every morning?"  
"OF COURSE NOT!!" Akane screamed. In a quieter but still anger filled voice she added "I fight my own battles Ranma, I don't want or need you to fight for me!"  
"I wasn't fighting for you, I was just trying to explain to these guy's that it this morning battle was intrinsically wrong and they took offense." Ranma shrugged his shoulders. "I don't like to start fights, but I always finish them."  
Akane looked around, sighed slightly, and with a grined. "Well, it is nice to get a break from always having to fight them. Just don't do it again." Akane started her walk to class.  
Ranma walked in next to her "Hey, It's your fight so it's your business. I just . . ."  
Ranma's statement was cut off as Kuno stepped in front of the pair a rage filled expression on his face. "Ranma Saotome . . . Tell me now!" he screamed as he raised his boken in a menacing manner.  
"Tell you what?" Ranma asked in an unmenaced tone.  
"Where was the Pigtailed girl this past night! I know her absence was somehow linked to you!"  
"Ask her yourself after class," Ranma responded. "I have an aversion to being late."  
"NO! You shall URK!" Kuno's response was interrupted as Ranma stepped up to him and punched him. At least it looked like a single punch to the observers, Akane saw something strange about the form.  
Kuno fell to the ground unconscious and Nabiki walked up to look him over. "Wow, How many times did you hit him?" she commented as she saw the marks from Ranma's fist covering Kuno's upper body.  
"150, I'm still working on the technique," Ranma replied. "It's one of the reasons we extended our stay in China for a month and a half after Jusenkyo."  
  
Nabiki dragged Kuno into the Nurses office and put him onto one of the beds. "Face facts, Kuno-chan, you're totally outclassed."  
Kuno opened his eyes, sat up, and made a two armed grasping motion at the air in front of him while saying "Oh Pigtailed Girl My love for you is pure and true." He then collapsed back to unconsciousness.  
Nabiki looked down at Kuno.  
Once again Kuno rose to a seated position, this time saying "Akane I love you as I love no other." Once again he collapsed.  
Nabiki folded her arms across her chest and looked on her eyes half closed.  
Kuno sat up and looked at her saying "Pigtailed girl I wish nothing more than to date with you!" Collapse. Rise "Akane please let me date with you."  
Nabiki got up and walked away. *What a moron. Hmm, a rich moron though.* She looked back and glanced at him with a half grin on her face.  
  
"So Kuno, I understand you're interested in that Pigtailed girl?" Nabiki said as she pulled her seat up by his desk at lunch time.  
Kuno looked at her and responded, "Trifle not with me Nabiki Tendo, I shall meet with her after classes and reveal my love to her and the whole world."  
Nabiki took out a small packet of pictures one she had made using some of the Negatives from Noriko's portfolio. Looking them over she said "Yeah, going by these photos I can definitely see your interest in her."  
"Photos!?" Kuno said leaning forward to look.  
Nabiki put the five pictures down on the desk and spread them like cards. "If you're interested they're a thousand yen each."  
Kuno was devoting all his attention to studying the pictures. Most of them were of Ranma's female form at various places in China, except for one showing Ranma after Kasumi had accidentally sprayed her in the Tendo's garden. The water on her tank top made it plainly visible that she wasn't wearing a Bra. Indeed the thing all the pictures had in common was their depiction of Ranma's slow reaction to a situation that would have provoked instant embarrassment from any true woman.  
"So are you interested?" Nabiki asked.  
"The heavens themselves would balk at the price you state," Kuno responded.  
"Oh, you don't want them then?"  
Kuno handed her five 1000 yen bills and said "I'll take them all."  
Nabiki counted his money and commented "Well, you're giving up on Akane then?"  
"I said no such thing."  
"Ah, so you'll be two timing her then?" responded Nabiki with a neutral expression on her face.  
"I mean nothing of the sort. Akane is filled with a beauty of grace and dignity, while the pigtailed girl's vitality and innocence is a gift from the heavens themselves. They are both so dear to me that I cannot part with either. Is it deception for me to openly pursue them both?"  
"Nope, it's called two-timing," responded Nabiki with a grin. She pulled out a set of Polaroid's. "How about some of Akane to even out your collection? A thousand yen each." She put the Polaroid's on the desk. These were of Akane during her training sessions.  
"Sold."  
  
As the school day ended, Ranma walked behind the tree with a cup of cold water he had filled in the fountain. Emerging in her newer body she walked to her meeting with Kuno in the front courtyard.  
  
Ranma stood in the courtyard with a bored look on her face. She glanced back at where Akane and Nabiki were standing by the wall. She looked forward and saw Kuno approaching. *Hmm, didn't feel him there, he must be better at hiding his hostility than I thought.* Ranma began looking him over in analysis to prepare for the fight.  
"Pigtailed girl," Kuno began. "This past evening your rejection of my invitation hurt me greatly. I am here now to honor your own summons."  
"I've got things to do, so let's get started," Ranma said in a bored tone.  
"I am not here to challenge you," Kuno stated.  
Ranma looked at him with a puzzled expression.  
"Rather I am here to give you this!" Kuno cried, tossing something at Ranma.  
Ranma easily caught the bouquet of red roses. She looked at them, recalled some of the times she had been hit on in her female body and fought down a sense of nausea.  
"Pig tailed girl, I love you," Kuno said.  
Ranma threw the bouquet away. She turned and walked out the gate. Pausing she called back to Kuno, "You're an egotistical jerk and I have no interest in you!" Pulling a thermos from her backpack she stepped round the corner.  
Kuno blinked a moment, then ran after her shouting "My love! Your devotion to the one you were once with is a noble thing, but how could you have known that you would find true love in me! You must not hide these feelings . . ." Kuno rounded the corner, and caught up to the wet haired figure in the pig tailed girls clothes. He moved to embrace Ranma, and was met with a fist in his face.  
"Back off Kuno!"  
"Ranma Saotome! You . . . What hold have you on the beauteous pig tailed girl! It is you who forced her to reject her true feelings toward me! Now . . ."  
"Quit it Kuno!" Ranma responded, glancing at the kendoist in annoyance. "She's not your concern." Ranma picked up his pace, and walked round the corner of the wall surrounding the school. "Hey!" he screamed as a passing car splashed him with water from a puddle in the street.  
Kuno ran around the corner and saw Ranma. She was grasping the edge of her shirt and wringing some of the water from it. Kuno ran up and grabbed her. "MY LOVE! I have found you again!"  
"BUZZ OFF!!" Ranma responded, punctuating her statement with a ferocious kick, knocking Kuno back into the street. Pulling out his thermos Ranma upended it, dumping the rest of the hot water onto his head.  
"My . . . Ranma?" Kuno said as he halted his next charge. He stared at Ranma a moment.  
"Well, I guess you've got questions," Ranma said as he closed his eyes and focused on his breathing in an effort to purge his anger from himself.  
"I have but one question, Ranma Saotome," Kuno responded, pulling his boken from the same place other folk store hammers. "Where have you hidden the pigtailed girl!?"  
Ranma stared at Kuno in shock. "Kuno, THERE IS NO PIGTAILED GIRL!! She's just a temporary thumaturgical aberration, brought on by Jusenkyo's Nyanichuan! Nothing but the manifestation of a curse I have. Is that clear?" *How stupid is this jerk?*  
"Silence, vile sorcerer! You clearly have some form of magic control over her but I shall smite you and rescue her from your unwholesome clutches." Kuno lashed out at Ranma, who dodged the attack and kicked Kuno in the chest, knocking him backward. From his top fluttered the photo's he had purchased that morning. Ranma grabbed one.  
His eyes widened at the sight of his female form, wringing out the top of her red shirt in China. The angle made it very clear that she wore no bra.  
Kuno stepped forward. "An opening!" he said as he slashed at Ranma again, this time connecting with the martial artist's side.  
The pain of the hit pulled Ranma's attention back to the fight. He avoided another slash, and leaped backward, landing by the corner. He looked to his side and saw Akane and Nabiki arrive. "Hi!" he said, displacing his pain through long practice.  
"Ranma, just so you know, Kuno's really hard to beat when he's this mad. You have to pay more attention," Akane said.  
"No problem," Ranma responded, walking forward to meet Kuno's own slow advance.  
"And now it ends," Kuno stated, a look of confidence on his face.  
Ranma looked at Kuno, waiting to see what he felt so confident about.  
Kuno took one more step forward, bringing Ranma into range of his strikes.  
Ranma focused his attention on dodging the flurry of straight thrusts Kuno was striking at him. The technique was noticeably slower that the chestnut plucking technique he had been studying the past two months. However thanks to the heavier sword, the thrusts had to pack dramatically more power. Hearing a crack behind him, he glanced back and saw that he was right, the air pressure generated by the strikes was cracking in the wall. Ranma focused his attention back to Kuno, feeling for the rhythm of the attack.  
Kuno was drawing on the full strength of his rage. He had been drawing on the rage since the moment the fight began, and it was what enabled him to maintain this strongest attack longer than he had ever maintained it before. *You WILL fall before me!* Kuno thought, being to focused on attacking to voice the sentiment. Then he saw a foot pass before his face, and realized that Ranma had somehow penetrated his technique.  
Ranma had acted as soon as he was sure he had the rhythm right, swinging his right foot along an arc just in front of Kuno, and using his other leg to push himself off into a leap as his first reached Kuno's face. He landed by Akane his back to Kuno. Glancing over his shoulder he said, "You loose Kuno."  
"Address me as uppercla . . ." was all Kuno had time to say before he collapsed.  
Ranma walked over and picked up the rest of the photos, pausing to quickly search Kuno's shirt for the rest.  
"Well, I guess you've got fast feet too," commented Nabiki as she looked at the footprints from Ranma's kicks up Kuno's upper body.  
"I told you I had a significant edge against him," Ranma responded with a shrug.  
"But you took a hit too," Akane commented.  
"Oh it hurts, but I can handle it," Ranma responded calmly.  
"Well what distracted you so much anyway?"  
Ranma handed her a set of Polaroid's of her. *He got distracted because of me . . . HEY WHY WAS HE???!!!* "What were you doing with these Photo's of me!?"  
"Kuno dropped them during the fight. These too," he added handing her the pictures of his own female form.  
Akane looked at the pictures, then turned her attention to her sister. "NABIKI!"  
"Hey, you can't blame a girl for making a little cash, can you?"  
Akane glared at her sister for a moment then turned away in anger. Ranma looked between the two of them and asked "Uh, do either of you know a good doctor in the neighborhood? Mom's pretty good at patching me and dad up, but it's still good to know where a professional is."  
Akane glanced at him and grinned. "Come on!" she said, starting off at a slow jog which Ranma easily kept pace with.  



	4. Chapter 4

Legal: The characters of Ranma ½ were created by the great Rumiko Takahashi.  
I am using them without permission, hopefully for the purpose of entertaining someone. If anyone who has a right to sue me has that desire, I have almost no money.  
C&C is appreciated, you can contact me at brenda02@sprynet.com. And if you want to see the earlier parts of this and my other stories, you can find them at http://home.sprynet.com/~brenda02/Keith/Animeff.htm  
--------  
  
A Ranma ½ Fanfict  
Surreal Genius  
By Brendan O'Donnell  
Part four  
  
Ranma followed Akane into the waiting room of the clinic. Dr. Tofu was a chiropractor who was also skilled at acupuncture and herbal medicine. And Akane knew him quite well.  
*'Whenever I was hurt, he'd always fix it.'* Akane had told him on the way over. And the way she had talked about him said even more. *I think I've found another reason to be glad I put off that engagement question.* Ranma thought as he looked at Akane's smile.  
"Doctor Tofu!" Akane called into the clinic. A door opened and in walked a man in his mid twenties wearing a brown gi. His brown hair was tied in back with a very short pony tail, and a pair of glasses sat on his face.  
"Ah, Akane!" he said with a smile. "It's been a while since you've been by."  
"Oh, well I didn't . . . that is, I haven't done anything, I've haven't really gotten hurt in a while," Akane responded, her face reddened somewhat. Ranma glanced at her and smiled.  
"And you must be Ranma," Dr. Tofu said, turning to him.  
"Pleased to meet you," Ranma responded with a slight bow.  
"How do you know about Ranma?" Akane asked.  
"Oh your father talked about him the other day," Dr. Tofu responded. He turned to Ranma and added, "Mr. Tendo mentioned that deal you made about the engagement question. He was upset, but I know you did the right thing. I mean you're both too young to be thinking about marriage."  
Akane sighed, her smile fading into a look of sadness.  
"So why are you here?" Dr. Tofu asked, not noticing Akane's change of mood.  
"Uh, it's not that major," Ranma responded, tearing his eyes away from Akane. *Oh boy, maybe I should talk to mom?*  
  
"So, he's a martial artist?" Ranma asked Akane as they ran back to the Dojo together.  
"How could you tell?"  
Ranma glanced at her with a surprised look on his face. "How he caries himself, the way he moves, it's obvious if you know how to look."  
Akane flushed slightly. "I guess, I just have a hard time associating him with any sort of martial arts. He just doesn't act it."  
"You like him," Ranma stated.  
Akane stumbled slightly, and looked at Ranma, her cheeks burning. "Wh- What makes you say that?"  
"Oh a lot of little things that'd scream it to anyone who's sufficiently distant from the relationship to look objectively," Ranma responded. Looking her in the eye he added, "Just be careful not to tell sis, she fancies herself a real matchmaker."  
"ONIICHAN!" called Noriko from down the street.  
Ranma looked at his little sister as she ran up to the pair, and jumped down from the fence she had used as her path. "Oniichan, there's something I'd like to know about your day today . . ."  
"Does it involve these?" Ranma responded, holding out the pictures of his female side which Kuno had been carrying.  
Noriko looked them over and nodded. "Yep, Nabiki snatched the negatives when she thought I wasn't looking. I just wanted to figure out what she was doing with them."  
"Apparently she sold them to this pervert in class who's infatuated with my girl side," Ranma responded.  
"EWWW!" Noriko replied. "Did you . . . what did you call it . . ."  
"Apply kinetic aversion treatment?"  
"Yeah, did you beat him senseless?!"  
"I'm afraid he was pretty senseless to begin with," Ranma responded. "I changed when he was watching and he still doesn't realize that the girl is actually me."  
"I see. So do you want to do anything about Nabiki? I definitely owe her something for trying to put one over on me," Noriko responded.  
"Well, I am a bit upset about her selling Kuno those photos. Still, she's your sister Akane, how do you feel about all this?"  
"Huh?" Akane responded. "Well, I'm a bit upset too, but Nabiki's not malicious, and I'm sure she didn't intend anything bad. She's been supplementing the family income with stuff like those pictures for a few years, and I try to let it slide as long as it doesn't get too bad."  
"Ah, so she could be seen as using the photo's of me as an alternative of getting rent from me. Of course I should have enough in the bank that there's no real need of this." Ranma thought a moment. "You know, I do feel like doing something in retaliation." He turned to Akane "If you say don't I won't do anything. I promise that we won't actually hurt Nabiki, if we do anything."  
"No, I'm feeling a little mad at her for selling Kuno those pictures of me. Go for it!"  
"Ok, now what to do?" Ranma responded, stroking his chin while he thought.  
Noriko shook her head, "You know you're no good at sneaky stuff Oniichan. I've got a little idea, if you're interested."  
Akane and Ranma leaned over close to Noriko. "I'm interested," Ranma responded.  
"Ok, you know that weird Chi thing you're working on? . . ."  
  
Nabiki was siting on the edge of the back walkway reading a small book, when Noriko came up to her holding the photo album she had shown her last night.  
"Hi Nabiki," Noriko said as she sat and started going through the album.  
"Noriko," Nabiki responded with a smile. Her smile slipped a little when she saw the album. "Uh, is there any reason you've got that out?"  
"Yeah, this morning I noticed some of the negatives were missing. I was just trying to figure out where they might have gone," Noriko said, focusing her attention to the book.  
"OH, Well . . .. I sort of borrowed them earlier," Nabiki said. She pulled the negatives from her bag and added "Here they are, I was planing to put them back in later."  
"Hmm, I was wondering if you had anything to do with it, but I couldn't see what you'd want with them." She looked Nabiki in the eye and raised an eyebrow.  
"Well, actually there's a few folk in school who were impressed enough by a few of the pictures to want to buy some, and I figured that you wouldn't mind letting me borrow those negatives to help pay for you're family's visit."  
"Why should I mind that?" Noriko responded. "What I mind is you not talking to Ranma and me before going ahead and selling those pictures. And if you needed money we can definitely afford it."  
"Well . . . if daddy heard about me asking for money he'd start sobbing and lecture me about self reliance and being good hosts."  
"Yeah, but why not ask us about the pictures?" Noriko asked.  
"Uh, actually I wasn't sure your brother would go along with the idea," Nabiki responded, looking quite nervous.  
Noriko looked at her quizzically. She closed her eyes and said, "Oh, selling revealing shots to guy's who're into that sort of thing. Ranma'd really hate that. He hasn't found out yet has he?"  
"Actually he ran into someone who bought some photo's after school."  
Noriko winced and asked, "How many months will that guy be in the hospital?"  
"Oh, he didn't do anything that severe, he just knocked the guy out, and took back the photo's."  
"Uh, did he threaten or lecture you?" Noriko asked with a slightly worried expression.  
"No, he just looked annoyed and went off to a local doctor's office with Akane."  
"Uh oh. No it's gotta be out of his system by now," Noriko muttered to herself.  
"What was that Noriko?" Nabiki asked.  
"Oh nothing, I was just recalling something unpleasant that happened a few years ago, but I'm sure it's over."  
"What?"  
"Well . . ." Noriko looked around her. Leaning close to Nabiki she said, "Promise me that you'll keep this a secret, and never let Ranma know I told you."  
Nabiki looked into Noriko's very serious face. "OK, I promise."  
"Well, a few years ago when my brother was into this mad scientist thing . . . Well he's still into it, he's just more careful Anyway, he was experimenting with these chi enhancing potions and one of the ones he tried wound up turning him psychotic for brief periods of time."  
" . . . That doesn't happen anymore though, right?" Nabiki responded with a slightly worried expression.  
"He only took it that once and didn't do anything similar ever again. Thing is he sometimes got these flashbacks, first he'd be unnaturally calm for a few hours, then he'd get this weird multicolor aura and pummel anyone who'd upset him within the past month until they stopped moving. Don't worry the last time it happened was six months ago, he's fine now."  
The pair was interrupted by a scream. Akane flew over the wall and rolled along the ground coming to a halt face down by the pond. She didn't move. Then another figure leaped over the wall and landed in a crouch alongside the wall. The figure, glowing with a purple aura streaked with red rose to it's feet and looked at the porch with wild eyes. It was Ranma.  
"Nabiki . . ." Ranma almost whispered it, but Nabiki heard it quite well.  
"Uh oh, I guess he's not completely over it," Noriko said rising to her feet. "Now Ranma, you're not in full control of yourself, if you could just . . ." Ranma stepped forward and cut her off with a barely visible backhand that threw Noriko to the ground where she lay quietly.  
Nabiki had stood while Noriko had approached her brother, and now she was backing away from him. He looked at her, she hurried, stumbled and fell back landing with her back to the wall. Before she could try to move Ranma was just in front of her. With a scream she held her arms before her head while closing her eyes and turning her head away. A hand touched her shoulder.  
"You know you shouldn't take peoples things without asking them," Ranma said in a very normal voice. Nabiki opened her eyes and looked ahead. In front of her was a widely grinning Ranma, to his left was Noriko holding a small camcorder, and to his right was Akane with a wide grin that was threatening to break down into wild laughter any second. "And that goes double for selling photos of people," Ranma added. Akane started laughing.  
"Is it my fault you folk cost so much to feed?" Nabiki said in an annoyed tone as she glared at her sister.  
"No, but it is your fault for not seeing if we could pay for it ourselves," Ranma replied. "We can." *Yeah, I'm pretty sure rent would involve fourth to fifth power, and the account should be seventh power.*  
Nabiki looked at the trio in front of her and scowled. "OK! FINE! I'M SORRY! Happy now?"  
"That'll do for now," Ranma replied with a grin. He extended his hand to Nabiki, who slapped it away as she stood. She focused a very hateful look at her younger sister who was still laughing.  
"I-I'm sorry Nabiki, but you know I don't like you selling Kuno those photo's of me," Akane said, forcing her laughter back into a smile.  
Nabiki turned her gaze back to Ranma. "And just how did you manage that weird aura thing anyway?"  
Ranma took off his shirt. The t-shirt he was wearing underneath had several wires and a few metal plates taped to it. "It's a special chi-conductive metal I've been studying since before the trip to China. You just get the right mix of alloys, focus some of your chi through them, and voila." Ranma concentrated a second and the red and purple aura reappeared. "It takes a little effort to maintain though," he said letting the aura vanish.  
Nabiki looked the trio over once again. She turned and walked calmly up to her room. They could hear the slam of her door closing quite distinctly.  
"You know, it's probably a good thing your heading home with mom and dad tomorrow," Ranma commented to his sister.  
Noriko looked around her and sighed slightly, "I guess," she replied.  
"Hey, don't worry, you can visit anytime you want!" Akane said to Noriko. "And if you need an excuse, just say you don't trust Ranma in a house with three girls."  
"Hey! What kind of guy do you think I am?!"  
"The kind who uses a gender changing curse to sneak into girls baths," Akane said with a playful grin.  
"Haven't we laid that fiction to rest?" Ranma retaliated.  
Akane looked at him a moment then said "Well . . . OK, I won't mention it anymore."  
"Sounds good," Ranma replied with a smile.  
"If you'll excuse me, I think I should have a little chat with Nabiki," Noriko said as she began climbing up the stairs.  
  
The Saotome's and Tendo's were sitting around the breakfast table eating the miso soup that Kasumi and Nodoka had prepared together. The two of them were chatting quietly about meals they enjoyed making, everyone else focused on something they understood. Nabiki was deliberately avoiding looking at Ranma and Akane, talking quietly with Noriko instead.  
"Hmm, looks like they made up last night." Ranma quietly commented to Akane who was sitting next to him.  
Akane looked at her sister, then at Ranma's. *I've always been the little sister around here . . .* "You've got a great sister, you're really lucky."  
"See if you still think that when Mom gets you to baby-sit." Ranma reached for the same vegetable Akane was picking up. "Sorry, it's yours."  
"Still, it must be hard on her . . ." Akane tapered off. She had avoided talking about how Ranma and Genma's new curses had affected the rest of his family.  
Ranma looked at her and smiled. "Don't worry, as far as Noriko's concerned, Jusenkyo gave her a giant teddy bear for a father, and the big sister she's always wished for. The only thing that depresses her about the trip is that there wasn't any Spring of Drowned Magical Girl for her to jump into."  
Akane looked back at him and returned the smile.  
"Oh, Akane?" Kasumi said, noticing that she and Ranma were finished with their breakfast.  
"Yes Oneechan?" Akane replied.  
"If you have the time could you return this book to Dr. Tofu's after school for me?" Kasumi asked, holding up a small book.  
Akane's smile vanished. "Uh, I'm busy after school today . . ."  
Ranma looked at her with a puzzled expression. "Isn't that book a great excuse? . . ." he whispered.  
"Time to go Ranma!" Akane shouted as she shot to her feet. Grabbing Ranma's hand she rushed out the door.  
"Hey, what gives?" Ranma shouted as he was dragged down the street. The splash of water thrown by the old woman watering her step went unnoticed as the pair ran to school. At the gates Akane came to a stop. "Uh, Akane?" Ranma asked.  
"Could you mind your own business?" Akane replied, her voice resonating with pain and sorrow. She looked at Ranma, anger in her eyes. The anger was displaced by shock as she glanced down at Ranma's female body. A quick prod with a finger confirmed the reality of Ranma's chest. "When?" She broke off, and spun, cursing herself for her inattention.  
The mob was there. Akane shifted into a defensive stance, then dropped out of it when she saw that they were just standing quietly in front of the school.  
"Akane." The president of the Karate club stepped forward. "Uh, we've all talked about it and well, we wanted you to know we aren't going to fight you like that anymore."  
"You aren't?" Akane responded, a puzzled expression on her face.  
"Oh, we still think you're the prettiest girl in school, and we'll all be really jealous of whoever you wind up going out with, but we think Saotome's right. Love isn't something that's won in a fight, and we'll just let you decide who you want for yourself."  
Akane glanced at Ranma looking slightly annoyed.  
Ranma looked back at her, shrugged her shoulders and said, "Truth is really powerful."  
The president of the fencing club interjected, "That's true, plus my folks were getting really mad about the doctor bills from the daily fights." He and the rest of the mob chortled half heartedly.  
"Besides," the Rugby club president added, "Saotome might not believe in interfering, but if he can trash Kuno we'd be idiots to get on his bad side."  
"Lies!" Shouted Kuno as he walked around the building. His face and chest were covered with bandages under his Kendo outfit. "Some fool has spread false rumors that Saotome has bested me . . ." Kuno staggered and fell to one knee. He pushed himself back up with his boken.  
"Pride is one thing, denial of reality is something else," Ranma said, shaking her head as she looked at Kuno.  
Kuno looked at her. "Oh, Pigtailed girl. I have waited so long to see your beauteous visage again." He pulled the bandages off his face, revealing the two footmarks.  
*What does it take to make this idiot get the point!* "Kuno, are you actually going to try coming on to me when Akane's three feet away?"  
Kuno looked at Akane who was standing with her back to them both. "Ah, fair Akane do not fear. I have not abandoned you! For my heart is a boundless fount of love that can embrace the pigtailed one and not take any of my love from you." Kuno said stepping toward her.  
"You are aware that being a two timer is even less attractive than being obnoxious and being arrogant? As they say in baseball strike three!" Ranma commented.  
"Kuno," Akane said quietly. She looked at him. "Chase after her all you want. It won't change my feelings in any way."  
Ranma looked at her. *AH MAN! What's the big idea of encouraging this moron!*  
Kuno took step back from the two girls. "Oh, how deep her feelings, how beautiful the fair lily Akane. How can I part with her; and yet the pigtailed girl, such vitality, my energetic dandelion. What can I do!?" Kuno ran away a few feet and assumed a pose of intense contemplation. He turned. "I SHALL DATE WITH YOU BOTH!!" he screamed as he rushed forward, being thrown back by simultaneous impact of Ranma and Akane's feet to his face.  
  
In PE class Ranma's classmates Daisuke and Hiroshi watched as Ranma effortlessly outperformed the best acrobat in the class. After a easy landing from the bar he walked over to sit by the pair. "Hey Saotome, is there anything you're not an expert at?" Daisaku asked  
Ranma sat, looked over the next participant and said "Of course, there's even a few things I'm lousy at."  
"Like . . ." Hiroshi started to ask, stopping to look at the girls baseball game in progress nearby. Specifically at Akane who was jumping to catch a pop fly. "Wow."  
"Hey Saotome, have you gotten anywhere with Akane yet?" Daisaku asked.  
"Gotten, No! What kind of question's that anyway?"  
"Come on Saotome!" Hiroshi said. "You're living in her house, you walk to school with her every morning, you're the reason those guy's who kept attacking her stopped."  
"Yeah, are you trying to say that haven't even tried anything."  
Ranma turned his head to look at Daisaku. "Is it some sort of crime too . . ." The impact of the baseball with the side of his face cut off his retort. *Ah great.* When someone was attacking him with anything from fists to shurikens, Ranma's first sense of the attack was his awareness of the focusing hostility. Unfortunately with accidental events like this that didn't happen. And since he was looking the other way he had no warning before the ball hit.  
"Uh, couldn't you have dodged that or something?"  
"I had something on my mind."  
  
"Well, it's good seeing you again Ranma." Dr. Tofu said as he looked over Ranma's bandaged cheek. "Would you two like some tea?"  
"I don't want to put you to any trouble," Ranma responded.  
"Oh it's no trouble at all." Dr. Tofu responded as he walked into his kitchen.  
The Phone rang.  
"Could you get that for me?" Called Dr. Tofu.  
"OK," responded Akane. "Moshi-moshi? Ah . . . yes." She slowly hung up the phone and bowed her head sighing despondently.  
"Akane?" asked Ranma, as he walked up to look at her.  
"I'd better go now." Akane said, turning toward the door.  
"Hey, is something wrong?" Ranma asked.  
"Is something the matter Akane?" said Tofu as he looked out from the kitchen.  
"Oh nothing."  
"Well, the tea'll be ready in a minute, won't you share a cup with me and Ranma?"  
"Of course Doctor." *Why did I say that, now I have to stay here.*  
Ranma looked at Akane again, and whispered, "Hey, what's wrong. I thought you'd be happy to have tea with him."  
Akane glared at him. Fighting back a sob she quietly said, "Dr. Tofu's already interested in someone. That was her on the phone, she's on her way now.  
"Really? Who?"  
Akane looked at the floor and closed her eyes. A moment later she looked up, into Ranma's eyes. "kasumi." Ranma blinked and looked her in the eye. "Dr. Tofu's completely in love with my sister Kasumi."  
"Your sure?" Ranma asked. "Has he told anyone or anything?"  
"No but it's so obvious anyone can see." Akane replied.  
Dr. Tofu returned with the tea.  
"Hmm, definitely a baseball." Dr. Tofu said as he looked at Ranma's cheek. "Akane hit it, right?"  
"Huh, why do you think that?"  
"The angle of the impact and the depth of the impression. Who else but Akane could hit a ball that hard?"  
Ranma looked him over. "You're joking right?"  
"Actually yes, did Akane really hit that?"  
"Yep."  
Akane sighed and looked into her tea with a forlorn expression. "Now now Akane, you're just a very healthy girl. This kind of thing isn't something to feel bad about."  
"Ok Doctor." Akane responded, making herself smile.  
"Well then, I'll just add a little disinfectant and bandage this back up." Dr. Tofu said to Ranma.  
The door slid open.  
"Hello Dr. Tofu." said Kasumi Tendo from where she was standing in the doorway.  
Dr. Tofu looked at her. His glasses fogged up.  
Dr. Tofu placed his other hand on the opposite side of Ranma's head. He shifted said head almost ninety degrees to Ranma's right, to the accompaniment of a loud cracking noise..  
"K-Kasumi, it's so incredible to meet you here of all places." Tofu said.  
"I suppose. But what was that horrible cracking noise?"  
"Noise, what noise?"  
"Ranma, what's the matter with your head?" Kasumi asked.  
"It's nothing." Ranma responded, wanting to minimize his exposure to Dr. Tofu until he could see how to restore his rationality.  
"Oh, Ranma just had a little problem with a baseball." Dr. Tofu said to Akane. She turned him around so that he was facing Kasumi. "What brings you here?"  
"Oh I just came by to return this book I borrowed from you." She reached into the basket she was holding and pulled out a plate wrapped in a napkin. "And . . . I don't know if it's a fitting gift or not . . ."  
Dr. Tofu stepped up to Kasumi, and accepted the plate. Removing the napkin he put the plate on the counter. "Well now," he said as he tied the napkin around his face. "What a great mask! It's fitting pretty well too."  
"That's just the wrapping." Kasumi said, picking up the plate of cookies and placing it in Dr. Tofu's hands.  
Dr. Tofu pulled down the napkin, and nibbled on the edge of the plate. "Mm, crunchy."  
"Uh, that's the plate." Kasumi said, smiling at him.  
Akane looked the scene over and sighed. "I'd better be going, sis."  
"Are you sure?" Kasumi said, trailing off as she watched Akane leave. "What's wrong with her? We could have walked home together."  
Ranma stood and walked after her.  
  
"What's wrong?" Nodoka asked as she set down the small suitcase she was carrying and walked up to Akane. She looked up as she heard Ranma close the door. "And your neck Ranma?"  
"It's nothing major." Ranma said while Akane just sighed.  
Nodoka walked up to Ranma, ran her finger along his neck a second. Her left hand slipped between his head and his shoulder. She precisely spread two of the fingers of her right hand. With a quick motion she jabbed two points on Ranma's neck a moment before cracking his head back upright.  
"ITAI!" Ranma exclaimed through clenched teeth. He rubbed his neck a second. "Thanks mom."  
"No problem, Ranma." Nodoka replied. She turned to Akane. "Now, what's wrong?"  
"I-It's nothing," Akane said quietly.  
"Uh-huh. Come on, the dojo's more private." Taking Akane by the hand Nodoka led the way to the Dojo.  
Ranma started to follow the two of them. Then he stopped a moment, turned and went up to his room and lay on the futon.  
  
He lay there about a minute, then stood. Opening the window he silently leaped to the roof of the Dojo. Walking to the edge of the roof he peered into the room.  
His mother was holding Akane as she wept.  
*Oh boy.* Ranma stood, and leaped onto the roof of the main house. Walking to the front edge of the roof he sat down and sighed. *Damn, I knew she'd need someone to talk too. Lucky it was mom, if she'd needed my help . . . What would I have done?* Ranma clenched his teeth in frustration, then sighed. "Physics, Metallurgy, Archaeology, Martial arts." He shook his head. "That I know."  
"Hey," called a voice from the side of the roof. Hearing it Ranma walked over and looked down. Below him was Nabiki leaning out her window. "Sorry I can't join you up there but some of us are normal." she said with a slight grin.  
Griping the edge of the roof he rolled down onto her windowsill. "Is there something you want?"  
Nabiki stepped back giving Ranma room to enter. "Well I do want to talk about Rent while daddy won't hear, but I also wanted to know what's wrong with Akane? There's definitely something."  
Ranma looked into her face, rather than the looks of smug anticipation or the more common poker face she had a look of faint worry. "She was with me when I stopped by Dr. Tofu's. And she didn't leave till after Kasumi showed up."  
"Ah yes. I should have guessed," Nabiki responded. "So you checked on her, what's she doing? Not to mention your mom?"  
"Mom's just holding her, and she's crying. If you value your life and well-being this information doesn't leave this room."  
Nabiki directed a hard glare at Ranma. "Look I may do some things you find honorably questionable for money, but I will die before I do anything that would hurt either of my sisters."  
Ranma matched her gaze a moment then smiled and nodded. "Good answer. Well, Noriko's a good judge of character and I wouldn't have said anything about Akane to you otherwise."  
"I'll trust some of the things Noriko's said about your mom too. Assuming Akane's in good hands that just leaves us deciding on a decent rent for you to pay." Nabiki smiled and took a notebook from the drawer in her desk.  
Ranma returned the smile. "Not to mention a way to hide me paying that rent from your father." *I wish I had my computer.*  
The fact that the amount of rent to be paid was determined after fifty three seconds of debate stems partially from the fact that Nabiki was deliberately trying to avoid excessive overcharging, and partially from the fact that Ranma had always avoided the subject of accounting. His impressive mathematical understanding mainly stemmed from his skill at avoiding the use of arithmetic, something he was truly lousy at. He could have become adequate at accounting, with time, the proper equipment, and a lot of work. Instead he avoided the subject like he did most of the subjects he couldn't excel at. So Nabiki had the monetary intuition in the debate and Ranma just had his memory of the listing of three apartment rents he had read in the newspaper.  
  
"Bye, mom." Ranma said, embracing his mother. They were standing in the front hall of the Tendo house, Noriko was standing off to the side right next to Nabiki. Genma was standing by the door with a large backpack on his back and two suitcases under each arm. Soun was standing opposite the group, tears streaming down his face, but fortunately this trickle was the extent of his weeping. Ranma and his mother released each other and stepped apart.  
"Now you take care of yourself Akane." Nodoka said as she stepped up to Akane and bowed to her.  
Akane returned her bow with a smile. She sniffled slightly then said, "I will Auntie Nodoka."  
Nodoka turned and walked to open the door. Genma and Noriko walked out, and she followed them. She paused before closing the door and looked at Ranma. "Oh Ranma, don't forget about this Sunday."  
Ranma winced then forced himself to cheerfully reply, "I won't mom."  
"If you want to invite Akane and Nabiki their welcome too."  
*Invite them to laugh at my expense.* "I'll do that mom."  
Nodoka shut the door.  
"What's happening this Sunday?" Nabiki asked.  
Ranma fixed a baleful look at her a moment, then sighed and shut his eyes. "Well, when it turned out that Dad and I were going to stay cursed a while, mom decided that I should take advantage of this opportunity to develop an understanding of what it means to be a woman. So once a month she has a "girls night out" with me. I have to spend the day in my female form, and call myself her daughter Ranko." Hearing a pair of giggles he opened his eyes to look at the two youngest Tendo sisters. "Well, do you want to come? I haven't been seen by anyone who knows me yet."  
"I wouldn't miss it for anything." Akane replied with a laughter filled voice.  
"And I think it makes a good payback for that little joke." Nabiki added.  
*Well, hopefully this'll get all that over with early on.* Ranma thought as he went to his room.  



	5. Chapter 5

Legal: The characters of Ranma ½ were created by the great Rumiko Takahashi.  
I am using them without permission, hopefully for the purpose of entertaining someone. If anyone who has a right to sue me has that desire, I have almost no money.  
C&C is appreciated, you can contact me at brenda02@sprynet.com. And if you want to see the earlier parts of this and my other stories, you can find them at http://home.sprynet.com/~brenda02/Keith/Animeff.htm  
--------  
  
A Ranma ½ Fanfict  
Surreal Genius  
By Brendan O'Donnell  
Part five  
  
Somewhere in the wilds of Japan a solitary figure in a worn and dusty cloak was walking. "Ranma," he whispered to himself as he continued down the road. Hearing a rumbling sound he looked over his shoulder. An enormous boar was charging at him. He scowled and turned around.  
The cloaked figure drew his right hand from beneath his cloak and raised it to about chest level, curling the fingers into a claw. His lips curled back as he snarled menacingly. The boar almost fell over stopping it's charge. It looked at it's opponent a moment before turning and running back the way it had come as fast as it's legs could move. The globe of black laced blue fire in the figure's fight hand dissipated as he lowered his hand to his side. Turned back to the way he had been going, the figure walked on, straight past the sign saying "Tokyo, turn right now."  
  
Ranma opened the closet in his new room. From the top shelf he removed the one suitcase he had never unpacked. Taking it down he adjusted the two combinations and opened it. He looked inside closed his eyes and sighed a very tired sigh. "I hope Kasumi will help me get this dress ironed for tomorrow, otherwise I might have to buy another one." He looked at the neatly packed bra and panty. "Or worse." He shuddered.  
"Hello Ranma." Kasumi said with a smile as she turned from hanging the laundry to dry.  
"Hi Kasumi. I assume Nabiki and Akane told you about tomorrow, do you want to come? I'm sure Mom'd love having you."  
"No, I have a few things to do. But it's sweet of you to ask." She smiled. Then she looked at the dress Ranma had slung over his shoulder. "What's that?"  
Ranma sighed slightly. "A dress. I packed it away last month, and I was hoping you could help me get it looking presentable for tomorrow." *So Mom doesn't have any excuse to buy me a new one.*  
Kasumi took the dress from Ranma. It was a blue dress, very simple design. Looking it over Kasumi's experienced eye deduced two facts by comparing the cut to Ranma's form. First, Ranma had picked this dress because it was neither tight enough to slow her movements, nor loose enough to become tangled when she moved fast. Secondly, "Oh my, this will look absolutely adorable on you."  
Ranma winced, then forced himself to smile. "Mom helped me pick it out last month. There are a lot of dresses that you can't kick properly in you know."  
Kasumi smiled and replied, "I know, Akane's complained about it to me a few times."  
"Ah, I guess she would. Um . . ."  
"Don't worry I'll have this all ready for you tomorrow."  
"Thanks. Are you sure you wouldn't come with us?"  
"This is your time with your mother. I've shopped with her enough this week, and I really do have things to do."  
" . . .OK, thanks again." Ranma said as he went back to his room.  
  
Akane sat in her room looking into a mirror as she slowly put on her makeup. Her hair was loosely braided and hung down her back, and she was wearing a nice yellow dress with floral patterns.  
"Akane . . ." Nabiki said as she walked into the room, then she trailed off as she looked at her sister. "Getting nice and pretty for your future fiancee and mother in law?" she said with a smirk.  
"Nabiki!!" Akane replied, turning to look at her sister. Nabiki was wearing a red skirt, a blue and white striped blouse, and a light orange jacket. "I'm just making sure I look my best."  
"Ah, you're scared that Ranko might look better than you." she responded with a grin.  
Akane looked at her sister with angry eyes. *Do you have to blurt it out?* "Why should I be scared by anything that fake girl does?!"  
"Because he's a better martial artist than you, and you're worried he might be better at being a girl."  
Akane glared at her sister, then she turned away with a 'Humph!"  
Nabiki shut the door and walked to Ranma's room. *I shouldn't taunt Akane like that, but she did help Ranma with that little joke. Ok when I go in I'll say something like 'Wow, no wonder Kuno's so nuts about you.'* She suppressed a malicious chuckle as she knocked at the door to the room that was now Ranma's.  
"Ranko, are you ready?"  
"No!" Ranma responded in the most curt and abrupt voice Nabiki had ever heard her use. With a grin she opened the door.  
"Do you need any help?" She looked at Ranma dressed in a gorgeous light blue dress her arms contorted around her back. "You need a zip right?"  
Ranma ignored her a moment then brought her chopsticks bearing right hand back in front and said "No that should do it."  
Nabiki looked at her and grinned slightly, "Creative I see."  
"Is there something you want Nabiki?"  
"I just want to see if your ready. My you're gonna have to beat the guy's off with a stick."  
"A stick?" Ranma replied with a puzzled look on her face. "Anything Goes is primarily unarmed."  
Nabiki glared at him a moment then started laughing. Ranma joined her.  
  
"Ranko, Akane, Nabiki." Nodoka called up the stairs.  
"Coming mom." Ranma replied as he stepped out of his room followed by Nabiki.  
Akane walked out of her room a second later. She stopped to look over Ranma a second. *He does look pretty good, but I'm not going to say anything to him about it.*  
"Wow." Ranma commented looking Akane over. "you look great."  
*Well, It's better to be polite . . .* "You look pretty good yourself. For a boy in a dress."  
Ranma closed her eyes a moment then said "Just for today I'm supposed to forget about being a boy and get in touch with my feminine side." *As if.* She opened his eyes. "Let's go."  
  
"Now that would look absolutely stunning on you Ranko!" Nodoka commented as she looked into the window of the shop.  
Ranma looked. Her mother was contemplating a frilly white strapless dress. Ranma pictured herself in the dress for a moment. Very feminine. "It's really not me."  
"Oh but at least try it on first. You might be surprised." Nabiki commented with a smile on her face.  
Ranma paused as she saw the boutique three stores to the right. Se stepped up to his mother. Nodoka glanced at her and she said "If you so much as say the word lingerie I'm going to start using the house as a testing ground for chemical weapons."  
Nodoka looked at Ranma, but her response was cut off.  
"Pig Tailed Girl!" Screamed Kuno as he ran down the mall, arms extended right into Ranma's foot. He shook his head a moment than continued, "How wonderful that fate has brought us together this day!" He grabbed Akane's hands. "And it has also guided the vital huntress Akane to my side as well. If fate has decreed I shall not oppose her generosity, I SHALL DATE YOU BOTH!" This time he was shut up by Ranma and Akane's combined kicks.  
"Who is this boy Ranko?" Nodoka asked as she looked at Kuno's form lying on the ground in front of them.  
"Mom, that is Tatewaki Kuno."  
"Mother?" Kuno said as he rose again. "Greetings then, fair woman. Had I not now been told of your relationship to the fair Pig-Tailed Girl it would have been obvious for you share her beauty. Indeed I am happy to finally meet the woman who shall one day become my mother in law." He grabbed at Nodoka's hands, which she yanked out of the way.  
Looking at Kuno with a very bored expression Nodoka said. "Well Ranko, I see you weren't exaggerating when you said he was more arrogant than your brother." Ranma's eye twitched a second.  
"Ranko? That is the true name of the Pig-Tailed Girl?" He pulled out a very old fashioned writing set and knelt on the ground. "I must prepare the ink lest I forget!"  
Ranma looked at Kuno. She looked up and glanced at the shops. With a grin she stepped forward and kicked Kuno's inkstone. Kuno grabbed his other writing supplies and ran after it. Right into the "Sanshiro Marital Arts Boutique."  
Akane commented "Ranko that's cruel!" Then started laughing.  
Nabiki said "Wait here, I've got to see this." Pulling Noriko's camcorder from her purse she entered the store.  
  
"Then he decided he should write a poem while he was 'inspired by your love' and started ranting, first he'd say something about Ranko then about Akane, and then he was screaming about how he loved you both." Nabiki ate the forkful of Spaghetti and looked at the others. "So there he was kneeling in front of that shelf of silk panties ranting about how he couldn't choose. He seemed so out of it that I decided to see just how much." She took a sip from her glass of water. "So I grabbed this black lacy panty and slipped it on his head. He didn't even blink!" The four women all giggled together.  
"If it was anyone but Kuno I'd think you were being excessively nasty." Ranma commented.  
Nabiki looked at her. "Say Ranko, Noriko says that computer of yours can get pictures from these tapes?"  
"It's a simple function." Ranma replied.  
"Well do you think you could make a few pictures for me? A lot of kids at school would love to see Kuno in that sort of position." She grinned as the thought of the potential profits.  
"No trouble."  
  
The party was siting in a booth at a ice-cream Parlor. Ranma was looking her parfait over, tapping the glass with her spoon a few times before scooping a small spoonful into her mouth. "MMMM!!" she commented. "I didn't know parfaits tasted so good." She commented as she sank her spoon deep into the dish, then pulled it out and scooped another small bite.  
Nodoka dropped her warning glare to comment, "You haven't had one before?"  
"Well I only have so much time to visit shops like this, and when I'm with dad he's constantly going on about what guy's should and shouldn't do." Ranma stopped talking to scoop herself another small spoon of ice-cream, this one catching part of the peppermint stick in the parfait.  
"Noriko said you and your father went on a lot of training trips." Nabiki commented  
"Yeah, I started training when I was little, and Dad always made a point about Mom not 'coddling' me too much. Of course dad being such a moron . . ."  
"Ranko! You know you shouldn't talk that way about your father!" Nodoka said. "Even if it is true," she added.  
"I'm not saying anything that's not obvious." Ranma replied. Turning to Akane she said, "When I was about eight I took over most of the logistical work on the training trips. Dad didn't mind in general but ever so often he'd start ranting about how I didn't trust him. Well I'd generally let him plan a training trip, and every single one was totally botched. The only reason I'm cursed is because I decided I could trust pop to pick one item on our itinerary. Naturally that was Jusenkyo. He didn't speak a word of Chinese and we all knew it, but he'd rather go somewhere he didn't know anything about than ask for help translating the pamphlet."  
"Wow, your father sounds really . . ." Akane trailed off glancing at Nodoka.  
  
Genma sneezed. Soun looked at him from across the shoji board and asked, "Are you feeling well Saotome?"  
"I'm fine Tendo." He picked up a piece and slapped it onto the board. "You're minds not on the game."  
"Of course not!" Soun replied. "This is a perfect opportunity for us to bring our children together to unite our families and we're sitting here playing shogi! We should be following them and helping Ranma discover how much he loves Akane! Or Nabiki!"  
Genma looked at him and commented, "You've never seen my wife when she's angry have you." Soun looked at him with a confused expression. Genma continued, "The master himself was scared of her."  
Soun blanched. Looking at the board he commented, "Perhaps some things are better left unknown." He set a piece on the board.  
Genma placed another piece of his own. "Check."  
"Wait let's start over."  
  
"You know what I don't understand is how you managed to do so well in school despite all those training trips." Nabiki said.  
"Well . . ." Ranma commented thinking to herself. "Actually when I started kindergarten I did really bad. C's and D's pretty much. Dad alternated between being mad about the grades and loudly declaring how much more important the Art was. Mom was just supportive. Anyway I decided to approach the situation like any martial arts problem, and take a step back to examine it."  
"You looked at school as a martial arts problem." Nabiki stated looking at her half lidded.  
"You know, you beat an opponent by understanding the opponent. Anyway I decided to visit the library to try to get some outside perspective. I identified the subjects I was having trouble with, checked out every relevant book, and read them cover to cover twice each. By third grade I was getting straight A's and skipped straight to fifth."  
Ranma scooped the last of his parfait into her mouth. "Ok, how about the chocolate one next?"  
"Girls have to watch their figure's Ranko. Still you haven't had parfaits before and you are very active." Nodoka said smiling.  
"Arigato Mom." Ranma responded, before glancing at the TV set by the counter. "Hey isn't that?"  
"I do believe it is, Ranma." Nodoka responded. "I wonder how your friends are?"  
"Well I sent them a letter after I got back but I haven't gotten a reply yet. You know how it is with snail mail."  
Nodoka suppressed her confused look and replied. "Uh, yes . . ." She blinked a moment, looking past Ranma toward the door to the restaurant.  
Ranma was turning her head to see what she was looking at when a pair of arms grabbed him from behind. She caught a glimpse of purple hair as a voice she hadn't heard in months proclaimed "Nihau Ranma!"  
"Shampoo!"  
"It good to see Ranma again!" Shampoo released Ranma and looked her over. Her happy expression turned puzzled. "Why Ranma wearing dress?"  
"Could you call me Ranko for today." Ranma responded rubbing her forehead with her right hand. She dropped the hand and looked straight at Shampoo. In the dialect of Shampoo's prefecture she said, "Mom decide I spend day every month pretend be twin sister Ranko. Touch in with feminine side and that."  
"Ah, Shampoo understand. And Ranko talk Japanese. Shampoo need practice to speak better."  
"So who's your friend?" Akane asked in a neutral voice.  
"Oh sorry. Akane, Nabiki, this is Shampoo of Joketsuzok, rightful heir of 3000 years of marital arts mastery. Shampoo, these are Akane and Nabiki Tendo, Akane is the heir of the Tendo school of Anything Goes Martial Arts."  
"Tendo school not Saotome school, yes?"  
Nodoka responded, "Genma and Soun both studied under the same sensei. After they . . . left him their schools can be considered to have diverged."  
"Ah, Shampoo understand. Shampoo happy meet Ranko's friends Akane and Nabiki!"  
"We're pleased to meet you, Shampoo." Nabiki said calmly, Akane nodding her agreement.  
"So what are you doing here anyway?" Ranma asked.  
"Great-Grandmother decided that Shampoo should learn ways outside village. Shampoo is enrolled in Furinkan starting this week!"  
Ranma blinked. His expression showed confusion for a second then he sighed and looked resigned. "She's still trying for that engagement."  
"Engagement?" Asked Nabiki.  
Nodoka responded, "Shampoo's great grandmother thought that Ranma and Shampoo made a good match and was very . . . determined to make them agree with her."  
"She couldn't accept that I don't intend to throw away everything I've done with my life up to now and move to the Chinese countryside to become part of an old Eugenics program." Ranma said. He glanced at the Tendo sisters. "Maybe I should start at the beginning."  
  
Flashback:  
The Saotome family is trudging through China behind the guide. Ranma and Genma are both in their cursed forms, and all four of them are looking tired.  
"I'm hungry," Noriko commented.  
"So am I," Ranma responded.  
"Don't worry, we can restock in the next village." Nodoka replied  
"Oh sirs, here we come to Amazon village, we lucky yearly tournament is in progress."  
Ranma stepped forward looking at the fight raging on a suspended log in the middle of the village. Banishing her thoughts of hunger she examined the style of the two combatants. One, a very large incredibly masculine looking woman was using a large spiked polearm to attack her opponent. Her opponent, a rather attractive purple haired girl, was countering with a pair of ornate bonbori maces. As she watched the purple haired girl used one mace to knock the polearm aside while stepping in to thrust the other into her opponent who was knocked high into the air by the force of the blow.  
"Serious power," Ranma said to herself. Her sister handed her a bun and she popped it into her mouth and continued contemplating the contest. Then she saw everyone in the village was looking at her. Glancing back she saw Noriko and Genma eating items picked up from the table with the sign before it saying 'First Prize'. "Hold it you two." A bonbori smashed into the ground right in front of her sister.  
The winner of the contest followed her weapon. "Who are you and why are you stealing my prize?" She asked in an angry voice.  
Ranma looked at Noriko who had stepped back with an expression of well hidden fear and stepped forward. In a very cold voice she said, "Girl sister. Not read Chinese well enough read sign."  
"Who are you?"  
"Ranma Saotome, one doesn't enjoy attack children."  
She fixed her with a very dangerous look. "My name is Shampoo. Every year there is a contest. I won this year, so that is my prize she was eating. It's for the winner not weaklings like yourself."  
"Confident," Ranma replied.  
"Get on the tree. If you can give me a decent fight I'll only have you and yours thrown out of the village."  
"Be careful what you ask for," Ranma responded as she walked over to the tree and hoisted herself up. Shampoo jumped onto the tree easily and looked her over with disdain. *That's right, think she's no threat.* Ranma stood casually, her arms folded across her chest.  
Shampoo charged across the log. Just before reaching her opponent she saw a subtle shift in her weight. She shifted her own weight, and thus was only sent stumbling back by Ranma's kick instead of being knocked off the log.  
Shampoo narrowed her eyes and shifted into a more defensive stance and approached Ranma.  
Ranma stepped back into a defensive stance of his own and watched Shampoo carefully.  
Shampoo stepped foreword, thrusting straight at Ranma with one bonbori. Ranma ducked under it, then stepped back to avoid her follow up kick. Shampoo spun from her roundhouse into a back spin kick which caught Ranma in the side. Shampoo looked at Ranma, raised a bonbori for a downward slash, while dropping the other to block the kick she clearly read as targeting her hip area. She staggered back as the kick smashed into her right shoulder, throwing her back.  
End flashback  
  
"We kept fighting for almost half an hour. It was one of the hardest fights I've had in a long time." Ranma said. "I had to dip into every dirty trick and cheap shot Dad ever taught me, and Shampoo still beat me."  
"Shampoo was just lucky. She never fight any opponent as good as Ranma."  
"Your being modest, you did have me outclassed in speed and strength."  
"That only reason Shampoo not lose. Shampoo thought she good fighter, but Ranmas moves either unreadable till they hit you, or they read as one attack while they actually something else."  
"Ahem, anyway when Shampoo won she made this big announcement about me being a friend and publicly offered to share her prize with me and my family. She also apologized to Noriko for scaring her."  
"So where does this fiancee thing fit in?" Nabiki asked.  
"Well that was when we met her great grandmother Cologne, and she learned about the curse. Like I said they've been trying to maintain this sort of crude eugenics program. Whenever an Amazon gets beaten by an outsider, if the outsider's a woman she has to be killed, and if it's a man, the Amazon has to marry him."  
"So if you had beaten her . . ." Akane mused.  
Shampoo sighed and looked a little sad. "If Ranma win whole village would seen Shampoo loose to outside woman. Shampoo glad Ranma not beat Shampoo, and happier Ranma not truly woman so Kiss of Death never need."  
"Shampoo's great grandmother Cologne showed up the next day. I had explained about Jusenkyo the previous night, and Shampoo had told me about the Marriage/kill law. Anyway Cologne offered to train me, and since we didn't need to get back for about two months I accepted."  
Shampoo added, "Great Grandmother try to make Ranma fight Shampoo when she think he good enough to win, but Ranma sister realize and warn Ranma. Ranma talk with Shampoo and decide that he was not going to live in village no matter what great grandmother do. So Ranma and Shampoo work out ways to keep law of marriage from being invoked."  
Ranma shrugged, "A month and a half later we left the village. Cologne was furious about Shampoo not becoming engaged with me, but with a little help from Noriko Shampoo and I had made sure she couldn't do anything about it."  
Shampoo added, "Shampoo not mind marrying Ranma, but he strongly planned his life outside Village so marriage no good idea. Shampoo glad to have Ranma for friend."  
Ranma grinned. "It's good to have you as a friend too Shampoo."  
"PIGTAILED GIRL!!"  
As Ranma heard the cry from the entrance to the shop he closed his eyes a moment.  
"It has been too long since I so foolishly allowed the crowds to separate us. But now they have parted as before the radiant light of true love." Ranma glanced at Kuno, who was advancing across the restaurant, the black panty still covering the top of his head. "Come let us commence on our double date!"  
Kuno's speech was interrupted when Akane stood, picked up a nearby table, and knocked Kuno through the ceiling with a quick underhanded swing. "That felt good." Akane commented as she sat and grinned at Shampoo.  
Shampoo looked at Akane, traced Kuno's path from the store with her eyes then asked "Who that?"  
Nabiki responded, "Local idiot, thinks there's some grand romance between himself, Ranko, and Akane."  
"Real idiot." Ranma added. "He's a decent swordsman but you're better than he is easily."  
Nodoka looked at Shampoo a moment then asked, "So Shampoo, have you picked up your uniform yet?"  
Shampoo looked at Nodoka in confusion. "Uniform?"  
Nodoka smiled at her then said, "You will have to wear a uniform at Furinkan, Shampoo. Don't worry we were heading in the direction of a store that sells them. Just come with us and I'll help you get what you need."  
  
Shampoo looked at herself in the mirror. She pivoted quickly, watching the skirt of the girls uniform she was wearing flutter in response to her movement. Then she kicked at a high and low point in the air, then leaped backward, Curling into a triple roll in the air and coming out of it to land solidly. She smiled and nodded. "This work."  
"For you." Ranma grumbled as she stood to one side in an identical school dress. She was scowling, much to Nabiki and Akane's delight.  
"You know Ranko, you might be right." Nabiki commented with a wide grin. "Fortunately this store has a few different uniform styles, and you can try them all on!"  
  
"So where are you staying, Shampoo?" Nodoka mentioned as the walked away from the shop.  
Shampoo shifted the bag with her purchases to her left hand and replied, "Shampoo not sure. She finding Hotel room after done with shop, and look for apartment tomorrow."  
"No need for that, you can stay in Ranma's room." Nodoka replied.  
Shampoo stopped, blinked twice, then glanced at Ranma. "Ranma no mind?"  
"I'm staying at the Tendo house so my rooms unoccupied now."  
Shampoo nodded. "But Shampoo no want be trouble for . . ."  
"Trouble?" Nodoka responded. "I've taken care of Ranma for sixteen years, and Noriko for ten. Trust me, you're no trouble."  
Shampoo thought a moment then smiled. "Shampoo be good guest with Ranma mother! Shampoo thank Nodoka help Shampoo."  
  
"That was fun." Nabiki commented as she sat on her sister Akane's bed.  
"You think anything's fun if you get the chance to spend someone else's money" Akane responded from her desk as she wiped off her makeup. She sat back a moment and added, "Still it was a lot more fun than I thought. I hope Shampoo'll take up Ranma's offer to train here."  
"Didn't Ranma say she was better than you?" Nabiki calmly added.  
Akane scowled. "That's just his opinion. Besides whichever one of us is better it'll be fun to talk to someone who understands what I'm talking about when I talk about martial arts." She stood. "Could you unzip me?"  
  
Ranma put down the kettle of hot water and sat at his desk. Opening his laptop he turned it on and started typing.  
Shampoo looked around the spartanly decorated room. Then she undressed and slipped into Ranma's bed. She was asleep in seconds.  



	6. Chapter 6

Legal: The characters of Ranma ½ were created by the great Rumiko Takahashi.  
I am using them without permission, hopefully for the purpose of entertaining someone. If anyone who has a right to sue me has that desire, I have almost no money.  
C&C is appreciated, you can contact me at brenda02@sprynet.com. And if you want to see the earlier parts of this and my other stories, you can find them at http://home.sprynet.com/~brenda02/Keith/Animeff.htm  
--------  
  
A Ranma ½ Fanfict  
Surreal Genius  
By Brendan O'Donnell  
Part six  
  
Ranma exploded into consciousness and rose to a seated posture, coughing and wiping the water from her face. She looked up at Nabiki who was standing by her futon holding a bucket of water.  
"Do you mind?" Ranma commented in an annoyed tone.  
"Hey you didn't wake up when I asked you and Noriko said this was the quickest option." She responded with a wide grin.  
With an almost suppressed snarl Ranma stood and walked through the halls toward the Bath.  
  
A shadowy figure sat in a tree before the gates of a large school complex. His eyes were scanning the faces of the students as they filed into the building.. He frowned. "Ranma," he commented, softly. Glancing at the clock on the tower he realized that his target had not arrived. He leapt off the tree branch, and landed quietly, his brown cloak settling around him. Looking at the school building he nodded to himself as he identified the window of the office. With a slight grin he ran straight up to that window, pausing to ram his fist into the wall beside it. The wall exploded.  
Entering through his just created opening the figure walked up to the filing cabinets on the wall and opened the drawer marked S. Identifying the folder he sought he opened it, and read quickly. He frowned.  
The door of the records room slammed open and a secretary stepped in. "What happened?" she commented while looking around the room. The figure stood, and suddenly she found herself slammed against the wall.  
"Where is Furinkan High School?"  
Shampoo hummed to herself as she walked through the streets, taking a longer rout back to the Saotome house that she hadn't taken before. She was feeling a joy that none of the homework in her bookbag could diminish. In her village she was the descendant and chosen heir of one of the strongest matriarchs. She was proud of her position but the requirements were tiring. *Here in Japan, I'm just an incredibly beautiful exchange student.* She thought to herself. *And since I'm the only Amazon in the entire city, I don't have play the role of supreme warrior to everyone I meet! No one caries if I follow the old traditions or not!* With a joyful laugh she leaped onto the top of a nearby stone wall and started running along it's length. The sound of voices from the other side prompted her to look and she stopped, frowning to herself.  
On the other side of the wall a confrontation was underway. A group of four or five extremely bandaged figures in sweatsuits were threatening a black haired girl in a school uniform.  
Shampoo frowned to herself. *I shouldn't take sides but five to one doesn't even resemble fair odds* Before she could take action the five pulled odd-looking clubs and charged the schoolgirl. Their target pulled a long black ribbon from her schoolbag and with an unnerving laugh she deftly deflected their attacks. *Hmm, it's unfair in the other direction* The ribbon wielder started thrashing her now cowering attackers. *Gloating over defeated opponents is ok, beating them is going too.* Shampoo thought to herself a second before leaping off the wall.  
The ribbon wielding girl was cheerfully lashing her would be attackers, when suddenly a hand snapped out and caught it, pulling it tight. She looked up into the face of the purple haired girl who had caught it.  
"You beat many enemy, should be enough, no need excess," Shampoo said.  
"You caught my ribbon . . . I see your no ordinary girl."  
"Shampoo no ordinary, she better," Shampoo replied with a smug grin.  
"No matter." Shampoo's new opponent replied as she dropped her ribbon and flipped one of her opponents clubs into the air with her foot. "No one interferes with the black rose," She added as she caught the club and lunged foreword, thrusting the weapon at Shampoo. Shampoo ducked under the attack, lashing out with a kick to her opponents legs, knocking her off her feet. Shampoo followed her first attack with a rising uppercut, however the Ribbon wielder had used the trip as the start of a handspring, which avoided the punch and threw her to land several feet away.  
"Well, you are good." Shampoo's opponent commented, pulling a black rose from her schoolbag. "I'm Kodachi, the Black Rose," She said as she threw the rose into Shampoo's hands. Turning she leaped to the top of the wall, paused and looked back at Shampoo. "Be sure to remember that." And with a laugh that sent shivers down Shampoo's spine she left in a series of roof to roof bounds.  
Shampoo looked after her brief opponent a moment then was reminded of the five sweatsuit clad fighters who were now weeping over their loss.  
  
In Akane's room Kodachi's five opponents were seated on the floor before her bed. On the bed Akane and Shampoo were siting looking at them. "Akane," one tearfully began.  
"Please, you have to help us." Another added.  
Akane looked at them, "The entire Rhythmic Gymnastics team was ambushed?"  
"We were trying to repay the favor but she was just too good."  
"And it's only a week till the big contest."  
"You've gotta help us, Akane!"  
"It's Martial arts rhythmic gymnastics and you're the only girl in school who has any chance of beating that cheater!"  
"Actually there two girl now." Shampoo commented with a smug grin. Akane glared at her a second, then smiled at the girls.  
"Don't worry guy's, I'll help you out, and Shampoo might too."  
"Of course Shampoo help, Shampoo want second chance at rose maniac."  
"I'm not entering, but if you let me get some water I'll help you train." Ranma commented as he straightened himself off the doorframe and walked out of the room.  
  
Ranma looked around the dojo, contemplating the rhythmic gymnastic tools lying everywhere. Shampoo was going from tool to tool, cheerfully testing them with the proficiency of an expert in many weapons learning the basics of a new one. Akane was . . . "Um, can I help you with that?"  
"Shut up!" She called back as she struggled with the ribbon which she had tangled around herself. Hearing Shampoo giggle she pivoted to glare at the Chinese girl.  
"Akane not worry, Shampoo beat rose maniac easy at contest."  
"I'm the one the team asked for help, I'll beat her!"  
Shampoo opened her mouth a moment, then closed it as she glanced at her watch. "No time for argue, Shampoo have date tonight." With those words she exited the dojo.  
Akane looked after her. "She has a date."  
Ranma shrugged her shoulders and commented. "Well in the village there were all sorts of protocols about her and the local boys her age, this is her first chance to just go on a date and relax."  
"Dates," Akane responded. "She's been out with a different guy every night."  
"Well dating is pretty much a once in a lifetime experience for her," Ranma commented while smiling and shaking her head. "Noriko and Shampoo talked for a while a few nights ago and they decided that if Shampoo did meet anyone she really wanted to take seriously she'd get me to help him train." Ranma scratched her head. "I guess it'd be easier to get the elders to accept her getting serious with someone she could genuinely say beat her. Noriko's the one who knows about those tradition whatever's if you want to ask."  
Ranma crossed her arms as she contemplated Akane. Stepping foreword she picked up a pair of gymnastics clubs. "Well, unless you want to call it a night we should start with the basic forms."  
"I'm not quitting!"  
  
"That's enough for tonight." Ranma commented as she put down the ribbon she was holding.  
Akane slumped in exhaustion a few moments, then started a few stretching exercises. "Can I really do this?" She commented quietly.  
Ranma looked at her. "Akane, you shouldn't underestimate yourself. It won't be easy, but you can really improve. Of course I would have to see Kodachi in action to judge weather or not you can do better than loose gracefully."  
"Thanks." She responded sarcastically. She focused her remaining energy into stomping out of the Dojo.  
Ranma walked after her, then frowned and looked up at the roof of the main house. With a quick jump she crossed the distance.  
Akane sat in the furo, letting the hot water relax her as she recalled the intense training session she had just endured. She heard a kiah from outside. She opened her eyes and sat up. There was a muffled clattering from above her. *Someone's fighting on the roof.*  
  
Wearing a well-worn gi, Akane entered her room and opened her window. Jumping out she grabbed the edge of the roof and pulled herself up. Looking around she saw a figure with a red pigtail sitting on the top edge of the roof facing away from her. "Hi Akane." Ranma commented.  
"Ranma . . . I thought I heard someone fighting up here.."  
Ranma nodded. "Kodachi. Apparently she said something about preferring to get her 'fair fighting' done before the contest." She stood and brushed a few black rose petals off her gi. "Akane," Ranma said as she turned and looked her in the eye. "I see many hours of practice ahead of you. Long hours."  
  
A figure stood deep in the shadows filling the Saotome yard, silently regarding the house. The gaze moved over the back of the house, looking from window to window, coming to rest on a window through which a flicker of purple was visible for a moment.  
"Hi Mousse!" called Noriko as she stepped into the yard.  
The shadowed figure looked at her and stepped foreword. "Noriko?" He asked as his hand reached up to adjust his thick glasses. "How did you know I was here?"  
Noriko responded. "Oniichan just called to tell us that someone might try to ambush Shampoo. So we started looking and I spotted you. What are you doing here in Japan?"  
"My love for Shampoo will never waver, it inspires me to climb the highest peaks, to cross the deepest ocean depths!"  
"You know she isn't interested." Noriko sighed to herself. "I know how hard it is to let go of your pursuit of her, but your going to have to sooner or later."  
"Shampoo is my life. However small the chance the hope of winning her love is more important to me than anything."  
Noriko reached into his sleeve and grabbed his hand. Mousse looked down at her. They both looked up toward the sounds of fighting that suddenly erupted from the room that was previously Ranmas.  
"Don't," Noriko proclaimed, tightening her grip on Mousse's hand. He looked down at her. "Shampoo doesn't want help. And she's good enough that she would almost never need it."  
There was a crash and Mousse and Noriko looked up again to see an unconscious feminine figure describing a great arc across the sky. Mousse immediately turned in pursuit with a cry of "Shampoo!"  
Noriko glanced at the hole in the wall. She could see Shampoo looking guiltily at her handiwork. Noriko thought a moment, then started to run after Mousse. *Dad better wait till morning before he fixes that.* In her mind she recalled the frequent times the dojo and house had been damaged through her father and brother's fights. A smile touched her face as she remembered watching in awe as they repaired the damage at fantastic speed, patching the damaged areas with a skill that left the patches almost invisible. *Dad might even teach me a few of the maneuvers!* She thought excitedly. *He's always been hesitant about sharing what he and Ranma learned about Construction Martial Arts, but if he's got to do the repairs himself he might decide to teach me enough to help!*  
Two more jumps brought her to the roof where Mousse was standing, the body of an attractive girl in a leotard cradled in his arms. He was looking through his thick glasses at her face. "I thought she was Shampoo." he commented, turning his head toward Noriko.  
"Mmm," Feeling the girl stirring Mousse looked back at her. She opened her eyes and looked up at him. "Oh, thank you." Her arms reached up and she quickly wrapped them around his neck. "I was so frightened!" She added hugging Mousse tightly.  
"Ah . . . I just . . . that is I saw you . . ."  
"You're Kodachi right?" Noriko commented. Kodachi shifted her suddenly very cold gaze to her.  
"Isn't it past your bedtime little girl?" Kodachi commented, making sure her arms stayed around Mousse's neck as he set her on her feet.  
"I've got some time." Noriko responded with a grin. "So what were you doing?"  
"I was merely discussing sportsmanship with my future opponent, and that purple haired barbarian attacked me!" She looked into Mousse's face. "And then you saved me," She said as she pressed her body against his, "Please I must know who my handsome savior is."  
"Uh . . . I'm . . ."  
"Mousse!" Noriko commented.  
Mousse quickly nodded vigorously. "I'm Mousse!" He took a deep breath, then frowned. "And you shouldn't talk about Shampoo like that!"  
Kodachi looked at Mousse and asked timidly "Is, is Shampoo important to you?"  
"He's been chasing her for years, and she's been trying to make him stop just as long." Noriko said.  
"She's a fool then." Kodachi responded, looking into Mousse's lenses. Raising her hand to his cheek she added, "How could any woman not want someone so handsome and strong."  
Mousse began sweating, and his face was almost completely red. "Um, well, I need to, my . . ."  
"Spam?" Noriko commented.  
"Spam! I need to feed my spam!" He said as he pulled himself from Kodachi's grip and ran into the night as fast as he could.  
Kodachi took a step after him, then stopped and sighed as she looked to the ground.  
"You like him then." Noriko stated as she stepped next to Kodachi.  
Looking down haughtily Kodachi said, "And who might you be child."  
Noriko directed a hard look at her, then adopted a crooked smile. "Noriko Saotome. Your best chance for eternal happiness with Mousse there."  
"And what makes you think so highly of yourself?"  
"Well, first off I actually know him, and I have studied romance for most of my life. Trust me if I can't get you together you were never meant to be."  
"Why?"  
Noriko smiled benevolently. "I don't know you so I can't tell whether or not your right for Mousse. I do know that you could well be right for making Mousse give up on chasing after Shampoo and that's something everyone wants done. I'll meet you at café Toramaru tomorrow at five." She turned and started back toward the Saotome home. Pausing she looked over her shoulder. "Don't forget now."  
  
Akane stumbled slightly as she walked along the top of the fence.  
"Keep up." Ranma commented from where he was walking on the fence in front of her, his nose buried in a book.  
Akane scowled at him and picked up the pace slightly.  
"Remember your doing this for the fight. Balance is one of the most critical elements of agility and it has to be second nature to you."  
Akane broke into a run and lashed out with a leg sweep as soon as she approached Ranma. Who fell forward, grabbed the fence and pushed off into a handspring and landed easily on the fence. With a scowl he jumped to the ground to pick up his dropped book.  
"You're the one who wanted my help. If you want to take on Kodachi you have to squeeze every bit of training you can into your day."  
"I know! You don't have to be so smug about it!"  
"I'm not being smug." He responded in an annoyed tone.  
"No of course not Mister 'I took all those training trips so I'm so much better than you could ever hope to be.'"  
"You shouldn't feel jealous."  
"I AM NOT JEALOUS, YOU EGOTISTICAL SEX CHANGING WEIRDO!"  
With a slight growl Ranma stuck his nose back into his book ignoring the fact it was now upside down. book and started running the remaining distance to school.  
  
"I said I was sorry, Ranma!" Akane commented in an annoyed voice.  
"And I said I accepted your apology. That has nothing to do with training." Ranma responded with similar annoyance as he whipped the bo staff he was holding in a quick arc at Akane's legs. As she jumped over the stick and landed back on the fence Ranma smiled slightly and nodded. "Kodachi is good, so training for a few hours every night isn't going to be enough." He shifted his hands to the middle of the bo, and with a quick spin he aimed a swipe at her legs which continued into a strike at her midriff. Akane jumped over the first, then vaulted over the second, grabbing the top of the fence to flip herself foreword to her feet. Her hands slipped.  
"Akane!" Ranma called as he dropped his staff. Akane had avoided hitting the fence and landed in the road performing what Ranma recognized as a perfect breakfall technique.  
"Damn!" Akane muttered to herself as she rose to a sitting position and quickly brushed off her sleeves and blouse. Then she looked at Ranma's extended hand with annoyance. "I don't need help!"  
Ranma pulled back his hand. "Not with falling right and getting up of course. Look I'm sorry you fell, but there is no point in training that doesn't push you too and past your current limits." He turned and picked up his staff. "Another fundamental element of training is that when you fall off the fence, you have to get right back on. Now hop up and give me three flips."  
Akane groaned to herself. *Is beating Kodachi really worth all this?* She remembered Shampoo telling her, *"Akane not worry, Shampoo beat rose maniac easy at contest."* With a scowl she jumped onto the fence, took three steps, then leaped into a front flip, landing on her feet on the fence ahead of her, wobbled a moment, then smiled as she centered her balance properly once again.  
"One" Ranma commented.  
  
Kodachi stood before the entrance of café Toramaru and looked around a moment. *Can that child really know anything the black rose would need to learn? Still, if she could show me the way . . .* Her eyes took a starry look as she visualized Mousse holding her in his arms against a background of flowers. 'My perfect black rose' he said as he caressed her cheek with his hand then moved in to kiss her.  
"Having fun?" Noriko had just leaned over Mousse's shoulder. Shaking herself out of her daydream Kodachi looked down at Noriko Saotome's grinning face.  
Kodachi scowled at her.  
Noriko's grin didn't change. She glanced at her watch and commented, "Your right on time." She stepped into the café commenting, "Come on, food and conspiracy is always much better than conspiracy alone."  
  
" . . .Bang! Shampoo knocked him out with one punch." Noriko commented over her menu. "She said that when Mousse didn't stop chasing her after that she decided to quit her plans to scare him off and hope that he'd eventually learn if she kept hitting him when he got too close."  
Kodachi looked down at her menu in silence for a moment. Then she looked up and smiled. "Ah the foolish girl, seeking to drive off a man of courage and dedication with punishment alone." She ran her fingers through her hair and adopted a quick pose. "With the proper enticement Mousse-sama will soon wonder why he wasted all that time on that purple haired bumpkin."  
Noriko scowled. "That bumpkin is a close friend." Then she smiled as she saw the waiter pausing by their table." Ah, are you ready to order yet Kodachi?" Not waiting for her reply Noriko tilted her menu toward the waiter and pointed out her order, "I want this, this, this and this!"  
"A-Are you sure?"  
Noriko scowled at the waiter, glanced at Kodachi who was now staring at her as well and folded her arms across her chest. "Haven't you ever seen a growing girl before?"  
  
"AHHH!! That hit the spot!" Noriko commented as she put her chopsticks down on her plate. Next to it were two bowls stacked on a small hotplate. "Ok, now I hope I've clarified how important it is that you not scare him with over-enthusiasm. Subtlety is the key. You want that roll?"  
Kodachi looked at the remains of Noriko's meal, looked into her face, then passed the roll to her. "I am fully capable of restraint, Mousse-Sama shall have no cause to fear my entreaties to his noble heart."  
"Good, you'll have to keep that in mind and not get nuts about living under the same roof. Ah the check."  
Kodachi blinked as Noriko dropped the bill for the meal in front of her. "Living under the same roof?"  
"Oh, did I forget to mention that I got your big brother to put him up in the Kuno Mansion?" Noriko closed her eyes and lightly smacked her hand to her head. "And I call my brother stupid." Shaking her head she got up and walked to the exit. Pausing long enough to deposit the yen for the bill Kodachi followed her.  
As they left the store Noriko said. "Yeah, well it was actually my friend Nabiki who set it up, it's the sort of thing that's best discussed over ice cream."  
  
"Large chocolate-vanilla twist." The girl behind the counter said as she handed the ice cream cone to Noriko. Who looked at it with a wide grin, and very happy eyes. She licked a little of the ice cream while Kodachi paid the bill.  
"I'll have to remember this place." Noriko commented as she walked away from the counter. She bit a small mouthful of ice cream off the top. "Mmm. As I was saying I asked Nabiki to help me get Kuno to put him up at your mansion, and she talked with him for a few minutes and told me it was all set up. So I talked to Mousse, and after I explained for the third time that camping out in our backyard was a bad idea, he agreed to let me find him someplace to stay locally." She took another bite from the ice cream. "Mmm, anyway subtlety is important. Arranging for him to see you naked has to wait."  
Kodachi stumbled. "A-arrange that he . . ."  
Noriko glanced back at her. "Oh, sorry, shouldn't have mentioned that, it's just Mom sometimes acts like she sees peeping as a vital part of courtship. Forget I said anything."  
  
Ranma sat in the corner of the dojo looking at Shampoo and Akane. At the beginning of the week he would have been certain that Shampoo would have been the only reasonable choice to fight in the contest. Watching them now, it was clear that Akane's intense training coupled with Shampoo's decision to skip training sessions in favor of going out with a different guy every night left them very closely matched. Shampoo still had a sizable advantage of both speed and strength, but . . . "Only use the tools, Shampoo." Ranma called as he tossed a ball to bounce off her head.  
"Feh, stupid toys." Shampoo commented as she picked up a ribbon, and shifted into a ready stance as Akane rose to her feet and lifted a pair of gymnastic clubs. Shampoo jumped foreword, lashing out at Akane with the Ribbon. Akane dropped into a roll under the Ribbon's path, throwing three clubs as she rose to a kneeling position. Shampoo deflected two clubs with the ribbon and twisted her body out of the way of the third. Akane rose to her feet twirling the Ribbon she had picked up. A second later the two began striking back and forth at each other with their ribbons.  
Ranma watched the duel for several minutes, ribbon against hoop, batons against balls, then glanced at his watch. Rising to his feet he walked around the ribbonstorm that was filling the center of the Dojo. At the door he paused and looked at the two combatants. "Oh and remember, tomorrows the big day so if you can't decide who takes on Kodachi by 9:00, you're flipping a coin."  
  
"Going somewhere?" Nabiki asked as she looked at Ranma walking through the house.  
"I've got something in the works in the lab at my house, and I really can't put it off."  
"You have your own lab?"  
Ranma glanced at her, and grinned and leaned against the wall. "Yep, When I was 8, I overheard mom arguing with dad about the costs of repairing the dojo, so I organized a training trip at the dojo of the masters of Martial Art Construction." He grinned at the memory. "Three months of training and Pop and I learned enough to fix everything we broke. And skipping a real long story, they used our dojo a few weeks while they were settling some problems with a firm of Martial Art Lawyers." Ranma shuddered a moment. "Seriously unpleasant. Anyway as a combination training exercise, thank you gesture they built a big underground lab for me."  
"So what are you working on?"  
"Please, allow me a few secrets."  
  
Ranma carefully picked up a small rectangular piece of silvery metal with a pair of forceps. He opened a black box with his other hand, and put the metal inside. A few deft adjustments inside the box and he closed the lid. He reached down to the sides of the box, where two hand sized plates of reddish metal where fastened. Ranma placed his hand's on the plates and stood there concentrating. A few moment's later he began to glow faintly with a blue aura. Glancing at a collection of digital readouts on the table, he began to smile.  
  
In an unlit room, a telephone was ringing. Then a light was turned on, revealing Ranma lying on a small cot massaging his forehead as he sat up. Glancing at the near antique black phone by the lamp he had just turned on he picked up the headpiece and informed it "What?"  
"Ranma, listen to me. You have to call Nabiki, NOW!" Noriko replied.  
Frowning, Ranma held down the button in the cradle, then reached down and started to input the Tendo's number in the rotary dial. *Note to self, get a touch-tone phone for here.* He had thought this every time he had to use the outdated machine. Which averaged to about once every two months.  
"Moshi-moshi." Kasumi's voice stated over the line.  
"Yes Noriko said I had to call your sister?"  
"Oh yes, just a second." He could just hear Kasumi call for Nabiki, telling her who had called.  
"Ranma?" It took Ranma a moment to recognize Nabiki's voice. He had never heard her sound worried before.  
"Nabiki? What's wrong? Kodachi didn't sneak in and try something did she?"  
"No, this was their own stupidity pure and simple. Apparently at nine, they decided to follow your advice and flip for who took on Kodachi, but they couldn't agree who would be heads and tales so they had another match over THAT! And then they couldn't agree about the outcome so they started another contest." She paused to groan then sigh. "When I got up this morning they were still at it. I think Shampoo was winning but they both looked too exhausted for me to really say."  
Ranma ran his hand through his hair with a groan. "Great. How do they look?  
"They both collapsed five seconds after I got them to stop, and I can't decide whether or not to try waking them up. Ranma, we can't forfeit this match. I've rigged the betting pool I'm running to come out in the black no matter who wins, but that's only if I can collect on the bets against Kodachi managing to take out everyone competent on our side. Unless I get can find a girl who can represent Furinkan and last at least a minuet the dojo won't be able to afford anything besides rice for the next month."  
Ranma sat there silently. He knew what Nabiki wanted to ask. He knew that honor demanded he agree. He also knew that she wasn't asking because she knew how badly he wanted to throw honor to the wind and refuse in the name of masculine pride. He sighed. "You found her. I'll ask mom to get me the outfit, and I'll meet you at St. Hebereke later."  
  
Ranma walked into the school with a shopping bag dangling from her left hand. *Is there any way out of this? No, there's still no way to get around having to do this.* she thought to herself as she walked through the halls, looking everywhere but at the bag he held.  
"You there, are you with the team from Furinkan?" Asked a somewhat familiar voice ahead of him. Focusing her attention she realized she had heard it a week before, it belonged to Kodachi Kuno who was standing in front of her in her school uniform with a smirk on her face.  
"Yep, the other contestants . . . aren't available."  
Kodachi sighed, "My open invitation to them to attend the match wasted! And I so wanted Mousse-sama to see me against a capable opponent. I hope you actually can fight me properly. I'd so hate to loose the chance to defeat you because you drew to many penalties from weaponless attacks."  
"You should worry about loosing the match." Ranma responded, forcing herself to grin slightly.  
  
Ranma stood in her corner of the ring, trying to ignore the feeling of the tights she was wearing. *I can't hold back just because she's a girl. I have to go all out and fight as hard as I can. I chose to fight, and I will do everything in my power to win.*  
"Your name?" The referee asked.  
"Ranko Saotome."  
"Ranko Saotome challenging!" The referee declared to the crowd. She turned to point to the opposing corner. "The champion Kodachi Kuno!"  
  
Ranma stood at the opposite side of the ring as Kodachi. Both were breathing heavily from the effort of the fight. Kodachi suddenly pulled a ball from nowhere and tossed it at Ranma. Ranma dropped into a roll to avoid it, then was knocked to the mat as it exploded.  
"An opening!" Kodachi yelled as she jumped at Ranma swinging a pair of gymnastic clubs at her. Ranma grabbed a nearby hoop and twirled it around her wrist as she rolled to the side. As she rose to a kneeling position she grabbed the hoop by the edge and with a quick twist looped it around the spot where Kodachi's arms were supposed to be. Rising to her feet Ranma rotated the hoop attempting to snare Kodachi with it. Kodachi avoided the attack, though the clubs were pulled from her grasp.  
Ranma spun the hoop around his wrist, advancing at Kodachi quickly, however she cartwheeled away, grabbing a ribbon and hoop of her own off the mat as she went. Flipping to the side opposite Ranma, Kodachi threw her own hoop at her as she landed. It struck her hoop splitting it in half. She instantly followed up with her ribbon. Ranma countered with her own ribbon. The ribbon's lashed at each other in the center of the ring, then Ranma shifted stances as Kodachi's ribbon wrapped round her right wrist, trapping her own ribbon.   
Kodachi pulled at the ribbon, and Ranma pulled back. Ranma's arm was pulled toward Kodachi, then with an effort she drew it back toward her own body. Then with a slight smile she jumped foreword her right hand shooting foreword to catch the slack ribbon and snap a fast loop through it. The loop snapped around Kodachi's wrist, then another snap threw her into the air.  
Kodachi pulled out a small whistle, looked where she was going, then dropped it.  
  
"Ranko Saotome!" The Referee stated raising Ranma's hand above her head.  
  
In the audience Kodachi was standing against Mousse, her head buried in his chest. "Oh Mousse-sama, you saved me again!" Before Mousse could conceive of anything intelligible to stammer in reply, she pushed herself away. Holding herself Kodachi shook her head, tears streaming down her cheeks. "But no! I entered this match to prove the strength of my love for you, but I failed! My love is not strong enough to be worthy of you!" She turned away, crouching with her hands to her face.  
"Er, no . . . You fought well, I mean my heart belongs to Shampoo, but your . . ."  
Kodachi pivoted and grabbed his hands. "Don't say anything, Mousse-Sama. I will dedicate myself from this day to becoming worthy of you!" Releasing his hands she turned and ran toward her dressing room. Mousse stood there, looking after her, and glancing at his hands.  
  
Ranma followed Nabiki into the house, male once again and dressed in his usual red shirt with black pants. "That was an experience I don't want to repeat." He commented.  
"But you looked so cute in that leotard." Nabiki commented. Snapping her fingers she added, "Oh that reminds he, Noriki wanted you to have this, as a memento of the fight." She pulled a videotape from her purse and extended it to him.  
Ranma glanced at the copy of Mel Brooks "Robin Hood, Men in Tights" With a quiet growl he stalked away.  
"Hello! Is something the matter Ranma?" Kasumi proclaimed as she walked out of the kitchen.  
Ranma directed a scowl at her, then sighed as she failed to react to it. "No, my sister's just demonstrating her warped sense of humor."  
"Oh, there's nothing warped about Noriko," Nabiki commented. "Oh and have Shampoo and Akane woken up yet?"  
"I don't think so."  
"If they had you'd know."  
Ranma directed a suspicious glance at Nabiki  
  
Shampoo stood arms spread wide accepting the cheers of the crowd. Kodachi lay at her feet, apologizing for challenging her. Ranma jumped into the ring and grabbed her in a joyous embrace. No wait he had suddenly turned female, and he was griping her tighter. The dream dissolved.  
Akane stood arms spread wide accepting the cheers of the crowd. Shampoo was bowing to her and declaring that she was the better martial artist. Ranma jumped into the ring and grabbed her in a joyous embrace. No wait he had suddenly turned female, and he was griping her tighter. The dream dissolved.  
  
Both girls opened their eyes slowly, looking to see each other's face. Their awakening minds calmly took stock of the situation. They were in the same bed. They both had their arms around each other. They had no clothes on. Some sort of reaction was necessary.  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!" They separated themselves like two magnets of identical poles.  
  
Ranma pivoted toward the stairs as a pair of screams erupted on the second floor. Climbing the stairs in three jumps, he ran to the source of the screams. Akane's room.  
"Are you . . . Gyaah!" Ranma pivoted away from the sight. On the bed Akane had stood in a vaguely defensive stance clutching a sheet to her chest with one arm, the other extended in a vaguely martial arts posture. Opposite stood Shampoo, wearing nothing but her hair ornaments. She was also standing in a rough approximation of a martial arts stance, with one hand poised as though checking her body for something. "Didn't see anything, didn't see anything, if I did see anything I'm not admitting it." Ranma stated to himself as he walked away from the room.  
Akane's voice called out in a fierce tone promising retribution, "Nabiki!"  



	7. Chapter 7

Legal: The characters of Ranma ½ were created by the great Rumiko Takahashi.  
I am using them without permission, hopefully for the purpose of entertaining someone. If anyone who has a right to sue me has that desire, I have almost no money.  
C&C is appreciated, you can contact me at brenda02@sprynet.com. And if you want to see the earlier parts of this and my other stories, you can find them at http://home.sprynet.com/~brenda02/Keith/Animeff.htm  
--------  
  
A Ranma 1/2 Fanfict  
Surreal Genius  
By Brendan O'Donnell  
Part seven  
  
Ranma scowled as he ran his pencil over the equations filling the notepad he was holding as he walked along the fence by the canal. Akane scowled at the ground as she paced beside him on the sidewalk. Behind the pair Nabiki strode with a smile on her face and a spring in her step  
"Are you sure you want to retire from gymnastics so soon?" Nabiki asked with a grin.  
"Yes." Ranma said, in an intense icy voice.  
"I could have beaten her." Akane softly declared.  
"Ah, but you and Shampoo were too busy." Nabiki mirthfully proclaimed to her sister.  
"Ranma! Please warn that girl that there is a limit to what I'll tolerate from my family!" Akane declared, cracking her knuckles menacingly.  
"Calm down Sis, I'm not going to say a word about this to anyone." Nabiki said raising her hands in a placating gesture.  
Akane clenched her fists and increased her pace slightly. Ranma jumped down from the end of the fence and joined her. Nabiki looked at the pair walking together, and scowled for a moment.  
  
The student's looked at the figure standing in front of Furinkan High School's main gate. A ragged, light brown cloak obscured his whole appearance, however in the shadows beneath the hood, his red eyes were visible, almost seeming to glow dimly. He had an unfocused air about him, suddenly it vanished as he looked down the street where Ranma and the two Tendo sisters were approaching at a slow run. He smiled slightly "Ranma!" he said as he walked forward at a casual pace.  
Ranma looked at the figure approaching and slowed to a walk. "Ryouga." He glanced at Akane and Nabiki who had slowed down glancing at the Ranma and the cloaked figure with puzzled expressions. "Get to class, this doesn't concern you."  
With a short almost cruel laugh Ryouga spread his arms. "Come come, you've had a long time to prepare for this day." Grinning he added, "I hope you've taken advantage of that gift of time." He brought his hands together before his chest, then lowered them as he glanced behind him with a scowl.  
"Ranma Saotome!" Kuno shouted as he charged from the school, boken held high. "Today is the day you shall truly feel heavens wrath for your misdeeds! I, Tatewaki Kuno," he paused as Ryouga's hand suddenly extended, blocking his path. "And who are you to dare interfere with the great Tatewaki Kuno?"  
"This isn't your business. Go before you get hurt."  
"You dare take such a tone with the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High!? I shall . . ."  
With a slight twist at the waist, Ryouga slammed an open palmed strike into Kuno's midsection. The kendoist was thrown backward, rolling to a halt just before Furinkan's entrance. "Now Ranma." Ryouga said coolly, bringing his hands back in front of his chest.  
"Ranma . . ." Nabiki began to ask, suddenly she felt him grab her by the waist.  
"Hey!" Akane commented as Ranma grabbed her. She clenched her fist, then relaxed it as she stared at Ryouga.  
Ryouga's hands had suddenly become engulfed in a fiery black streaked blue aura. Lightning seemed to pour from his palms forming into a black sphere with a speck of brilliant light in it's center. "Goodbye, Ranma," Ryouga said as he thrust his hands forward.  
Nabiki screamed at the sight of the stream of mixed dark and bright energy surging at her and her two companions, then her scream shifted as Ranma jumped, right at Ryouga.  
Ryouga jumped forward after his initial attack, his hands curled like claws, his aura surging like a fire from them. Ranma avoided the first attack by ducking his feet to his chest, and the second he avoided with a pivot that allowed Ryouga to move past him. Kicking at Ryouga's back, Ranma used his enemy as a springboard to throw himself and the two sisters in his arms to the school wall. He bounced from the top of the wall to the schoolyard just as a blast from Ryouga shattered said wall to rubble.  
As he landed Ranma released both girls. "Get clear!" He said, jumping away from them.  
Both Akane and Nabiki looked after him a moment, then with a scowl Akane declared, "Hey, I'm not some helpless child!" She took a step toward where Ranma was now standing in a defensive stance near the hole in the wall, stopping as she felt Nabiki grab her shoulder.  
"Sis think! This isn't some love sick member of your fan club, this guy can shoot fireballs!"  
"I'm not going too . . ."  
Ryouga surged through the smashed section of wall. Seeing Ranma, he grabbed his cloak and tossed it aside. With a cry he leaped toward Ranma. As he landed he spun into a roundhouse kick which Ranma ducked under. Lowering his kicking leg Ryouga hooked it back, almost catching Ranma's shirt as he stepped back out of range. Stepping forward Ryouga started lashing out with his fists. Ranma slid back slightly, blocking and dodging the flurry of punches. Ryouga followed up a failed two handed strike with a fast straight kick at Ranma's chest.  
Ranma sidestepped it, and jumped back, swinging his own foot to smash into Ryouga's chin as he back flipped five feet from his opponent.  
"Still good with the defense I see." Ryouga commented smiling thinly. "Not that it'll do more than delay the inevitable." He stepped forward, his arms beginning to burn with their aura again.  
Ryouga began lashing out like a hurricane, advancing in pace with Ranma's retreat. Every blow struck only air, pushing it at the building which was cracking under the impact. Ranma sudenly dodged to the side, striking a blurred fist into Ryouga's side. As Ryouga half staggered to the side he lashed out with a knifehand strike. Ranma jumped back. Glancing down he saw that the missed blow had cut open the front of his shirt. *Not good. Gotta be careful. OH NO!* Looking past Ryouga he just kept shock and fear from rising to his face.  
"YAAH!" Akane called as she jumped in and spun into a kick to Ryouga's face. His attention focused on Ranma Ryouga fell back from the unexpected blow. Following him Akane slammed a fist into his solar plexus and knocked him onto his back with an uppercut. "Ignore me will you?!"  
Ryouga rolled to his feet. He narrowed his eyes. Then he shifted his stance as Ranma jumped in lashing out with a series of fast kicks and punches. "Get out of the way Akane!"  
"No way!" Akane shouted as she charged in at Ryouga. "I'm . . ."  
Crossing his arms together before him, Ryouga explosively lashed out to both sides with a fierce shout. A great wall of air slammed into his opponents with the force of a battering ram. Ranma was pushed back, his feet gouging two seven foot long groves into the ground. Akane was thrown into the air, to land and roll to a stop fifteen feet away. As she pushed herself to her knees, Ryouga raised his hands, his aura once again blazing from elbow to fingertip.  
"Look out!" Ranma called as Ryouga half stepped toward Akane, thrusting his hands forward. Power exploded from his hands and surged at Akane like a tidal wave.   
Ranma jumped in kicking at Ryouga, this time his opponent dodged. Pivoting Ryouga raised his fist and hit Ranma straight on. Ranma was thrown back , smashing into the side of the school, forming a crater. Ryouga ran in after him, his finishing blow sinking into the wall to the elbow as Ranma ducked under it and jumped away.  
  
Akane watched the wall of power coming at her, then felt an arm grab her waist and felt herself pulled along as the arms' owner jumped out of the blasts path. Glancing up she saw Shampoo's purple mane blown by the winds. "Akane be careful." Shampoo said as she landed. "This too tough opponent." Putting Akane down she looked at where the battle continued.  
"Shampoo! We've got to help Ranma!" Akane said starting toward the two fighters, stopping as Shampoo raised a hand before her.  
"We help, but not by charge in stupid. We watch fight, and help so Ranma not get hit because distracted." Akane's cheeks colored, but she simply looked at Ranma and Ryouga.  
  
Ranma backed away from Ryouga, arms raised before him. His eyes rested on his watch a moment, then all his attention returned to Ryouga. Who was walking toward him, with the casual movement and smirking face of someone filled with absolute confidence.  
Ranma slid his foot back, dropping into a solid defensive stance. He raised his hands to an onguard position, his eyes pausing imperceptibly on his wristwatch. *Seven minutes.*  
Ryouga charged forward, lashing forward with a glowing spear-hand as he entered striking range. Ranma stepped backward and to the side, avoiding the blow. Ryouga jumped into a spinning kick. Ranma pulled just out of the way, but the air pressure of the blow threw him back ten feet.  
Raising his hands, Ryouga formed a sphere of black power in his right hand and released it at Ranma in an instant, following it with eight more such blasts in rapid succession.  
Ranma saw Ryouga's attack, and set himself, raising his hands before him. He centered his breathing in absolute concentration as Ryouga's barrage impacted with a series of explosions.  
"Heh, too easy." Ryouga commented with a smirk. Then he blinked as the smoke cleared, revealing Ranma whose slightly scorched appearance was the only visible damage.  
Ryouga looked at the greenish yellow glow fading from around Ranma's hands. "Well, I see you've actually learned a minor trick."  
"Give me a month or two and you'll be really surprised." Ranma responded.  
"Tempting, but no. Your death is my obligation and Hibiki's sense of direction has delayed it too long." Ryouga walked purposefully toward Ranma, power crackling along his arms. Ranma raised his hands in preparation. *Four minutes.*  
Ryouga charged forward, and Ranma leaped back in response. Ryouga fired a blast beyond Ranma, who jumped to the side to avoid the blast. Ryouga fired another shot at Ranma's landing point, but Ranma had already jumped in at him.  
Ranma kicked as he reached Ryouga, who staggered back two paces from the impact. Ranma continued forward, bombarding Ryouga with a dozen fast punches.  
Ryouga ignored the attacks, concentrating instead on lashing out with his own attacks. Ranma was just able to avoid the first two punches Ryouga threw. Then the third blow glanced off Ranma's side, hurling him to the ground fifteen feet away.  
Ryouga shifted his attention to the right, just as Akane stepped in and slammed a spinning kick into his side. He staggered back from her, raising his hands in preparation to attack, then was thrown back at her by a strong blow from behind. Akane met his stagger forward with a fast uppercut knocking him to the ground. He barely had time to feel the ground against his back when two bonbori maces smashed down on him.  
Ranma pulled himself back to his feet, feeling where Ryouga's punch had tried to obliterate his ribcage.  
Shampoo jumped back from Ryouga, landing by Akane.  
"That should do it." Akane stated.  
"No be sure, Shampoo remember this one. Fought Ranma near village. Great Grandmother say he demon, Ranma say not."  
With a snarl Ryouga shook his head. The two girls focused their attention back on their opponent, who raised his hands, then slammed his palms into the ground. The force of the strike set Akane and Shampoo staggering backward a few steps, and tossed Ryouga into the air. With a quick twist of his body he landed in a crouch, then rose to a full standing position.  
"Uh oh." Akane commented as she looked at Ryouga, who's entire body was burning with a black laced aura.  
Ryouga narrowed his eyes angrily at the two girls. Then he glanced at Ranma. His eyes could see the Chi circulating through Ranma, and from the world into Ranma. He knew that in a few moments his opponent would have his pain and weakness almost completely suppressed. *Time to finish this.* He stepped toward the girls, swinging his hands through a fast circling pattern. The trailing remnants of the auras of his hands met forming a spiral pattern which exploded into a sideways tornado. Ryouga was pushed back five feet by the recoil, while Akane and Shampoo were both thrown into the air.  
Ryouga turned to where Ranma was standing. The two looked each other in the eye. Ryouga clenched both fists, and snarled as his aura blazed with growing fury.  
"RAAAAAA!!" Ryouga moved forward like a bullet from a gun. As his opponents momentum built, Ranma smoothly back away in a smooth glide angling to the corner. But the moment Ryouga entered striking range, he set one foot, swinging the other in a rising kick which blasted Ranma into the air.  
Ranma landed and rolled to his feet.  
Ryouga charged in, swinging a roundhouse punch as he reached his opponent.  
Ranma ducked right and very low, swinging his foot to sweep Ryouga's legs.  
Ryouga leaped over the attacking leg, rolling in the air once before landing behind Ranma. He immediately pivoted swinging his kick in a backward hook.  
Ranma rolled forward into a handstand and pushed off spiraling in midair to land facing Ryouga. He fought to keep his breathing under control and hide his glance at his watch.  
Ryouga moved forward like he was floating above the ground, his arms drawn back to his sides. He struck with both palms, the energy enveloping them exploding at Ranma like a battering ram.  
Ranma was thrown to the ground. His vision lost all clarity for a moment, then snapped into focus as Ryouga grabbed him by his shirt.  
Ryouga hoisted Ranma into the air with his left hand. Smiling he looked into his opponents face. "Pretty good kid. You still know how to delay me. But this time nothing's going to save you at the last minute. It's time for you to die."  
There was a slight hissing sound from all around. Ryouga frowned and glanced at the ground, from which the black sprinkler-heads were rising like mushrooms. "NO!!" He reared up his right hand in preparation for a deathblow.  
Ranma fell to the ground staring unfocused into the sky. She closed her eyes and sighed in relief. Raising her head she looked at the black piglet siting on her stomach. "Hey Ryouga, you back in charge?"  
The piglet looked at her and nodded.  
"Good," she responded, giving him a quick rub by his bandana. Cradling the pig in one arm she pulled herself to her feet. Taking off her backpack she quickly folded Ryouga's outfit and put it away. "I'm sorry to have to ask you this, but would you mind getting in here?"  
  
"Who was that?" Nabiki asked as Ranma limped into the school.  
Ranma looked at Nabiki, then at her watch. "Aren't you late for class?"  
"Ah yes, trying to learn more about a fireball shooting psycho who almost killed me and my little sister rather than learn how to spell 'library'. Where are my priorities?"  
Ranma sighed. He looked at Nabiki, and considered his options {TELL NO ONE}. "Alright, the short version, that was an old friend of mine named Ryouga Hibiki. A few years ago there was an accident at a Lemurian site he was helping me explore and he went a bit nuts."  
"Kuno's a bit nuts. That guy's an emissary of planet loony."  
"Look it's not that big a deal! I know how to deal with him, and since that accident left him even more lost than he was before I don't have to deal with him often."  
Nabiki watched Ranma storm impatiently past her into the school building. "He's hiding something. And is he ever a rotten liar." Shaking her head she walked to her own class.  
  
"So Ryouga follows you to this ancient Lemming temple." Akane commented skeptically  
"Lemurian."  
"And then he went nuts, started running around trying to kill you and you haven't tried to stop him?"  
"I've been studying what happened to him, and I think I've almost figured out a cure."  
"None of which explains the fireballs." Nabiki interjected.  
Ranma glanced at her. Raising his hand, he tightened the grip, concentrating, then a fiery aura formed around the appendage, with a ball of blue forming within his clutching fingers. "Heavy chi." He commented before tossing the newly formed fireball into the ground, where it detonated forming a small crater. "Ryouga and I found a scroll explaining the principle a few years ago. It's a short-cut method for generating Chi augmented atmospheric projectiles using heavy emotion as a catalyst and control mechanism." Ranma turned to glance back, then back farther to where his three walking companions had stopped to look at the crater where his blast had fallen. "Is anything wrong?"  
"You just . . . How did you do that?" Akane asked.  
"Great-Grandmother never mention Ranma know thing like this."  
"I told you, it's a technique that was described on a scroll Ryouga and I found a few years ago. It's simply a question of synchronising chi with emotion and focusing the wave intersection to one point."  
"I see, and does that mean anything in Japanese?" Nabiki responded.  
Ranma sighed. "You make yourself feel miserable, you concentrate your misery into a ball, you throw it at something, boom." He shook his head. "Modifying it to work with confidence, anger, curiosity, et cetera wasn't difficult, but I'm still trying to crack the problem of doing it without using emotion as a catalyst." He closed his eyes and shook his head. Then brought up a hand to stroke his chin. "Hmm, wait, if the curve went like that instead of . . . two N X pi cubed! That could be it!" Pivoting he started down the road at a run, slowing to leap from the street to a fencetop then onto the roofs, where he proceeded to bounce across town straight toward the Saotome house.  
  
"OOH! Just when I think he's not really talking down to me, he pulls something like this!"  
"Shampoo think she know what Akane mean, but Ranma always talked that way about not-really-demon-boy."  
Nabiki walked up by the pair and added, "You do realise that he's lying, don't you?"  
Akane and Shampoo slowed and looked at Nabiki. "Why Nabiki say that? Ranma very honest, have trouble often because not think not say wrong truth."  
"I might not know Ranma but I know how to tell when people are trying to hide something, and Ranma was definitely trying to hide something about Ryouga."  
"Do you have any idea what it is?" Akane asked.  
"Not really, I think it had something to do with that Lemurian Chi whatever it was, and I couldn't make heads or tails of that."  
"Great grandmother very wise, and she confused by lecture on Le . . . Lam . . . L-word Chi Techno-something."  
The three girls walked in silence.  
"How will we figure out what Ranma's hiding? Nabiki commented thoughtfully. She snapped her fingers. "Noriko."  
Akane glanced at her sister. "Um, does she know very much more lemming whatever it was Ranma was talking about."  
"She'd probably know a little more from having to listen to him talk about it at home, but what's important is that she really knows Ranma." Nabiki contemplated the cannal for a moment. "We don't want to get Ranma defensive untill we know what he's getting defensive about, so perhapse I ought to write up a note and have you give it to Noriko tonight." She said, glancing at Shampoo.  
"Shampoo can do that, but not think it necessary. Ranma took Shampoo on date once, had good time, then Ranma get idea, start drawing circles and lines on paper, and so busy study paper he not notice when Shampoo went home!" Shampoo scowled . "Ranma apologize two day later, but Shampoo know Noriko make him."  
Nabiki and Akane glanced at Shampoo with scowls of their own. "So Ranma dated you in China?" Akane asked.  
Shaking her head, Shampoo replied, "Ranma feel it way to repay hospitality." She grined. "Ranma very stupid about romantic stuff, so Noriko plan everything." She giggled. "Noriko very mad at Ranma after hear what happen."  
  
Ranma double checked his modifications to the sprinklers in the room. He double checked the super soaker and small water pistol he tied to his wrist. He looked over the room. He and Ryouga stood on a seven foot square concrete platform surounded by a nine inch deep pool of water which filled the rest of the fiveteen foot room. Putting Ryouga on the seat of the larger chair, he dipped a cupfull of water from the surrounding pool. Igniting a burner from a small propane tank, he heated the water a few moments, then turned off the fire. Glancing at the tables on both sides of the chair the pig sat on, he nodded to himself and poured the water onto Ryouga.  
Looking at Ranma from under his driping wet bangs, Ryouga commented, "Took you long enough." With a scowl he stood, took the cotton robe from the table to his left and put it on.  
Ranma simply picked up the small circular devices from the table, and attached two to Ryouga's temples with white tape circles. "Some things just can't be rushed. Don't move, I already told you about these sensors."  
"I know your brilliance! Pigs aren't deaf, and neither am I. So how long will it take for you to get this thing out of me?"  
Ranma sighed as he attached the final set of sensors to the back of Ryouga's hands. "Ryouga, I want to get you exorcised as badly as you do, but the Lemurian formulas are almost as tough to crack as Navaho codetalk. A few friends of mine at the University have been piecing linguistics together, but until they've gotten a better handle on it, I'm stuck with what I've been able to find on my own." Looking at the cobbled together apparatus on the table, he turned a few dials and nodded to himself. "Ok. Any luck timing your resistance?"  
"I don't exactly carry a watch you know," Ryouga growled as he sat back, folding his arms. "I can tell you that the longest I've been a pig is a week, and I never felt any of that pressure. Also a week ago some chief tried to make boiled pork out of me, the lousy, rotten, after you get me fixed up I'm going to find him and . . ."  
"Focus, Ryouga."  
"Ahem, sorry." Ryouga angrily punched his right fist into his left palm. Closing his fingers to rub his fist he said, "There was a clock in the kitchen, and it was something like five-fifty. And when I lost it, I could hear some bells nearby chiming six." He looked down at his hands, muttering angrily under his breath.  
"I see," Ranma commented as he double checked the readings. "Do you remember the ShiShiHokodan?"  
"Of course I remember it! I also remember everything that my body does while you know who's in control. What about it?"  
"Look, I set up a target on that wall, could you hit it with a small ShiShiHokodan?"  
Ryouga looked at the metal disk on the wall, surounded by two yellow rings, and looked at Ranma. "Didn't you say that exciting the flow of Chi through my body might speed up my losing control?"  
"May. And that's why you've got those sensors on. If I can figure out what happens when he takes over and what happens when your normal, I'll be that much closer to being able to get rid of him." Ranma paused to heft his super soaker. "Don't worry, I'm prepared."  
"Your not the one who turns into the favorite dinner of most of the world." Ryouga muttered as he stood. He shifted into a wide stance, and raised his hands before him. Concentrating, he began to shine a fierce blue light. His aura concentrated in his hands, where a sphere of blue energy formed.  
"It doesn't need to be too big," Ranma commented.  
Ryouga directed an annoyed look at him, then refocused his attention on the target. The ball between his hands shone brighter. "SHISHIHOKODAN!!"  
Ranma looked at the wall where Ryouga's chi blast had struck. Right in the middle of the target. The metal plate was surrounded by a network of cracks, and the plate itself was imbedded almost flush with the wall. *Either the alloy and converting system didn't work right or Ryouga's even stronger than I thought.*  
"Ahhrh," Ryouga muttered as he flinched, grasping raising his left hand to rub at his forehead.  
"Pressure?"  
"Yeah, it's not overpowering yet, but it's starting and it's . . . Urrrgh, Quit it!"  
Ranma shifted the super soaker in his hand, and circled to the table by Ryouga, and looked down at the dials. "Try holding back the flow of your chi through your lung meridian."  
"Huh, whaa? Gaaah!"  
Ranma grabbed Ryouga's arm at the wrist. "Feel this?" he asked as he started tapping a point on the inside of Ryouga's wrist. "Feel the resonance and try to stop it!"  
Ryouga snarled to himself, and took on a look of intense concentration.  
Ranma's finger continued to tap, once per second.  
Five taps.  
Ten taps.  
Twelve. Ryouga's arm twisted as his hand grabbed Ranma's arm. His head came up, a black fire blazing in his eyes, his lips pulled tight in a beastial snarl.  
Ranma pulled the trigger on the super soaker in his left hand.  
  
"You spotted it too?" Noriko commented as looked into the empty bag of potato chips she held. Rolling it into a ball she casually bounced it off the wall into the wastebasket on the other side of her desk.  
"I'm good at that sort of thing." Nabiki responded, glancing up at the girl on the bed. She, Akane and Shampoo were siting on the floor in a semicircle.  
"Do you know what he's hiding?" Akane asked with a slightly annoyed voice.  
"Not yet. Ranma's done a bit better job of keeping this secret than most of his others." She shook her head. "He's even started using this encryption thingy on his computer using Egyptian Heiroglyphs."  
"What crypt?"  
"Encryption Shampoo, it means a code. And he knows I'm pretty good with codes, so he used heiroglyphs to keep me from breaking it."  
Nabiki glanced at Noriko. "You spy on your brother?"  
"He needs to be spied on. He's mister supergenius with martial arts and scientific stuff, but he's a total moron with everything really important."  
  
"Sorry about this buddy," Ranma commented as he double checked the large cage around the top of a table. Ryouga's pig form glaired at him a moment, then lay on the pillow. "You've got to stay a pig to stay yourself, and neither of us wants you to wander off and get lost either."  
Ryouga snorted at him.  
Ranma sighed and turned to the door to his second bedroom, then paused and walked to a different door opening it he walked through the room, running his hands over the wooden barrels filling the shelves on the wall. He stopped and looked at the one his hand had come to rest on. "Not yet." He droped his hand and turned his back on the barrel of Nanichuan water.  



	8. Chapter 8 (Very incomplete)

Legal: The characters of Ranma ½ were created by the great Rumiko Takahashi.  
I am using them without permission, hopefully for the purpose of entertaining someone. If anyone who has a right to sue me has that desire, I have almost no money.  
C&C is appreciated, you can contact me at brenda02@sprynet.com. And if you want to see the earlier parts of this and my other stories, you can find them at http://home.sprynet.com/~brenda02/Keith/Animeff.htm  
--------  
  
A Ranma 1/2 Fanfict  
Surreal Genius  
By Brendan O'Donnell  
Part Eight  
  
Ranma opened his eyes and glanced at the steel reinforced speakers that were halfway through playing a very percussion heavy version of Beethoven's ninth symphony. "I had to build this thing didn't I" Ranma mumbled as he rose to his feet and walked to the wall opposite the speakers. Using the small keypad in the wall he turned the wakeup system off. "Oh yes, 'don't worry mom, I've built something to make sure I wouldn't be late for school again.'" He shook his head.  
  
"So, what's Shampoo done with your room?" Nabiki casually asked as she looked over her bento at Ranma. He and the two Tendo sisters were sitting under the tree.  
Akane slowed her eating and leaned forward slightly.  
"I wouldn't know." Ranma casually commented as he inhaled his own bento. "I had things to do in the lab." Opening a can of soda, he began gulping it down.  
Akane glanced from Ranma to Nabiki with a slight frown. "By the way Ranma, I was thinking about getting some Kendo pointers from your Mom."  
With a spray of liquid, Ranma started coughing.  
Blinking Akane asked, "Something wrong?"  
"Um, why were you thinking about asking my mom about Kendo?"  
"Well, she did say that she taught Noriko about the sword so she ought to be pretty good, right?"  
"Well, now. Mostly."  
"Is there something wrong with your mother Ranma?" Nabiki asked.  
Ranma considered a moment. "Ok," he said quietly. "I want your word that you'll never tell anyone what I'm about to say. Or at least not anyone who might say a word about it to mom." He took a deep breath.  
"Ok," Akane responded uncertainly.  
"Sounds interesting." Nabiki responded with a grin. "I'll keep it a secret."  
Ranma glanced at the pair. "OK. At the moment Mom is pretty good. Except with drawing it. And as long as she stays calm. Come to think of it her footwork tends to go whenever she moves faster than a slow walk.  
"Ok, according to Grandpa, Mom's family has been professional sword polishers since some long ago legendary thing. Mom has always been a little too interested in swords. She's been fascinated by them, and by Samurai Movies. Of course Gramps didn't like it and forbade her from studying any sort of fighting technique. That didn't keep her from peeping at the practice sessions of the local Kendo Dojo and trying to copy their moves and the ones from the movie anytime she was alone." Ranma shook his head.  
"And then when she was fifteen someone tried to break into their house."  
Flashback  
In the unlit workroom on the ground floor of her families' house, Nodoka carefully picked up the sword. It was a newly forged blade that her father had been finishing for three days. She smiled as she felt the hilt she had helped her mother make. With an excited giggle she struck a quick pose. "Wow."  
From the front there was a quiet crash of glass breaking. Nodoka looked to the front of the shop. "Burglars?" she commented fearfully. She glanced at the sword she was holding. "Wait, if I can protect the shop. . ."  
She purposely strode toward the doorway. Crack. "Oww," she whispered as she released the sword with her right hand so she could rub her shin, which had just banged into the stool where her father sat above the main polishing stone.  
  
In the front two young men in black snuck into the entryway. "Idiot," one whispered, "What if they heard you!"  
"Ah, sorry," the other replied, lifting a hand to rub the back of his head. "So, we keep to the plan?"  
"I'll try upstairs, you check down. You did remember your flashlight, right?"  
With a grin the second thief held up a metal flashlight. With a flourish he slid the switch to the on position. The bulb stayed dark. Frowning he looked closer at the item.  
The first thief grabbed the flashlight from the second. He glanced at it a moment, considering it's weight. "Batteries?"  
A sweatdrop forming on his head, the second thief laughed nervously.  
The lights turned on.  
Both thieves turned their heads to the doorway where a young woman in a Kimono stood. She was about 15 years old with her black hair pinned back in a very traditional style. She was holding a Kitana in her right hand, and brought her left hand back from the light switch to join its grip on the hilt.  
"Hold villains! I Nodoka Yotsuya shall not allow you to. . . to. . . I wouldn't let you rob Papa!" She started advancing, holding the sword unsteadily before her as she moved forward with a slight limp.  
The two thieves looked at her, and started backing away. "Hey," the first commented, "Stay calm, there's no need to get violent, we'll just be going, no harm done. . ."  
"Wait!" Nodoka said, accelerating slightly. Then she tripped. "WAAAH!!" Stumbling forward she waved the sword in a frantic effort to regain her balance. She tripped, and only the impact of the swords forward thrust allowed her to stop on one knee rather than sprawled on the ground.  
One of the would be thieves screamed, and pushed himself back into the wall, his attention completely focused on the sword that was struck into the wall, just over an inch below the point where his legs came together. He reached a frantic hand down to feel at his crotch. *Not hurt. Thank you Kami-Sama!*  
"WE GIVE UP!"  
end Flashback  
Akane looked at Ranma.  
"Hey, that's what Grandpa said, at least that's how he put all the accounts and the physical evidence together. Big fan of Sherlock Holmes, Grandpa." Ranma paused. "Anyway, He was even more adamant about Mom not studying Kendo, but with the way she glossed it over in her mind, it just convinced her that she had a natural gift for swordsmanship. And with no lessons, she never had anything to challenge that belief. And when Dad married her, he always tended to just act like she was as good as she thought she was and steer her away from actually using it on anyone.  
"Then when Noriko was starting to get old enough to start thinking about training, mom thought it would be great to give her the chance she had never had. And that was what made dad admit that he'd been lying about how he thought of her sword style. That was the biggest fight they've ever gotten into. But in the end, Dad wound up taking Mom, and sparing with her until they could work her swordsmanship into something practical."  
"So is your mom any good with her sword?" Nabiki said.  
"Well, as long as she doesn't get to excited, which is a bit of a problem considering how she acts around swords in general. And Dad's never really tried to do much with her sword drawing. If she ever tries to draw the sword fast, try to keep out of the line of fire in case she doesn't grip it tightly enough."  
"So I you don't think I should ask her for lessons." Akane commented.  
"Well as long as you don't ask about Sword drawing you should be safe. And it's the best way to get on mom's good side." Ranma leaned forward conspiratorially. "According to Grandpa, the real reason she became so interested in him is because she wanted to polish his sword. Not that stuff about him peeping on her in the public baths."  
Nabiki looked at him. "Don't take this the wrong way, but the better I know your parents the harder it is to decide which of them is crazier."  
Ranma glanced back at her and grinned. "If you want to get more info, be ready to say something about your dad, I'm sure there's something beyond the whole engagement obsession."  
  
A brown haired figure in a boys school uniform walked confidently down the streets of Nerima. He paused and scowled at the girl who was peering into a window to his left. "Having fun?"  
The girl turned, and skipped to his side, grabbing his arm. "Aw, isn't aren't you having a good time?"  
The boy gingerly sepperated the girl from his arm. "Will you not do that!?" Shaking his head, he added, "We really ought to call this off before we start at Furinkan."  
"Oooh! Does that mean your ready to admit you loose?"  
"NO WAY! . . . That is, I was just offering you the chance to call it a draw so we don't. . . You know."  
The girl smirked, and struck a confident, yet very cute pose. "I am the best. And that's worth a lot to me, Ukyo-san."  
  
Shampoo looked around her nervously. "This too-too strange." She at Noriko who was looking at a keypad beside a large steel door.  
"It was a gift," Norkio responded, shining an oddly tinted light onto the keys. She nodded to herself as she considered the patern of fingerprints.  
"Norkio have strange idea of gift."  
Noriko paused to look over her shoulder at Shampoo. "Martial arts construction. Building a small complex fifty feet underground is a few hours work for them." Nodding to herself, she punched in a six diget code. The door quietly opened. "Same password."  



End file.
